Currently Listening to : Replay - Sean Kingston
    If you asked me, "Do I hate Axell?" Would you like the absolute truth? Honestly? Honestly. I've thought about it countless times and all I could ever say is, No. I don't hate Axell. What I DO hate is the fact that we don't talk anymore. It's as if we never were friends to start with. I hate the fact that whenever we're around each other, we look the other way. It's not something I usually do, but "whatever helps you sleep at night." I hate that we're not friends anymore. I would say that he is one of my closest friends. I would go to him to talk, to rant, to cry, to scream, or to just be bored with because that's what friends do, they're there for you through thick and thin. Axell is a person with a big heart and a loving family. He would always lend an ear and an opinion to stress.
     I don't know what happened, but I guess it's part of growing up. We all change, I admit that I have changed too. But deep down inside of me, I miss the old Axell. I hear a lot of rumors and buzz going around and it makes me upset, it really does. All I can say is that I guess we're not friends anymore for a reason. I just hope that he is continually moving foward in his life. I hope that he makes the right decisions. You maybe talking about me behind my back, you might not, but whatever helps you live another day is okay with me. No, I don't hate you. I did hate you, but I don't anymore. I have no reason to.
     I'm sorry, I totally stole that picture from your facebook ages ago. I have this exact same picture printed out and stapled to my wall, right next to my door so that everytime I walk past my door, I'm sure to see it. Do you remember when we took this picture? This was at Military Ball. This is my favorite picture. I miss all the good times and memories we shared, but it's all in the past. I'm pretty sure you've erased them from your mind anyways. All I gotta say is, I miss talking to you, no doubt about that.
     The more I think about it, the more I wish it was real. I want everything to go as planned; I talk to him online, I find him at school, and we live happily ever after. But really? How often does "happy ever after" come? I wish I could talk to him. I wish he could just finally go on Myspace and add me. Lol. I wish I could be his knight in shining armor and save him like last time, but this time I'll introduce myself. This is weird. Me liking a guy I hardly know. Could it be his masterful skill of being a chef that draws me to him? All I could do right now is just stand afar and admire him, hoping that my "one day" will come.
     For the past 2 night, I've been having dreams of him. Well, more of me looking for him. The first one was when I was singing "Ordinary People" by Asher Book. Instead of him coming, Asher comes out of nowhere and sings with me. Of course I'm happy, but I'm not satisfied. Instead I am looking around as I sing, hoping that he is there. But he's not. The second one was when I'm in a certain type of building. I don't want to explain because you guys will just be confused. I see that Kevin guy from orientation and he gives me a kiss. It's weird I know. But at that second, we both love each other. But, when we depart I question myself. I ask myself why I am doing this. I like another person and that person isn't Kevin. Instead, I look out windows hoping to see him in his car, but he isn't.
    What is that supposed to mean? Looking for someone who isn't there? All I could say is 2 more days! My only fear of everything is:
1) He is actually gay, which would suck in my part but could be useful in the long run.
2) He falls for that Caitlyn girl. I would really be jealous though.
     I sound like a creepy stalker. I admire a guy who probably doesn't know I exist. Ahh well... That's life. 2 more days!
     On the bright side, I cleaned my sister's filthy room. It's really clean now. I also have a master plan on how I want my room to look like if I remodeled it. I kinda cleaned my room today, but then I stopped, like how I always do. Instead, I watched 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. I also picked up Jen from the mall and we went to Banana Republic to see Axell. I betcha one of the workers thinks we're weird. We were running around, peering behind corners and hiding behind manniquins. Lol. After that, we go to the Angel Pix place and take more pictures! Then I drive Jen home. Now I'm at home. Starving. I think Axell's mom wanted me to come over to have some food, but I'm not gonna go if Axell's not at home! That's weird! I guess his mom doesn't hate me anymore. Yay!
     I woke up at 8:30 AM this morning. I immediately got started on doing laundry. I sorta cleaned my room and washed Clover. Around 12:30 PM, I drove my grandma to my cousin's house and I went to Maggiano's in Santana Row for Axell's cousin's Christening Reception. It was pretty fun. Axell's uncles are hella funny. They're hecka chill too. I was a vegetarian for the day so I only got to eat Pasta, Tiramisu, and Profiterals. Yum. Lol. I also got a giraffe balloon! Which later deflated... Axell and I walked to Boreders after, he bought a card for a wedding and then we went to Sur La Table and Maido. I bought Kikay's birthday gift there! Then I went home to change and wrap the gift.
     After, I went to Axell's house to pick him up, then we went to Dee's to pick him up and we went to Kikay's house from there. We were kinda late, but better late than never right? Everyone was already there. Axell and I stayed for about an hour, we just chilled, sat, and ate cake. Yum! Lol. Then we had to leave because Axell had to drive his mom to a wedding.
     When I got home, I just relaxed for a bit, went on the Mac, and then Axell called asking if I could go with him to take his mom to the wedding because his grandpa was unable to take him. So, he drove his mom to the wedding and we decided to go back to Kikay's party. When we got there, everyone was just chilling outside. Those guys, I think Kikay's cousin?, are hella funny! One dresses exactly like Erik! It was pretty shocking. Speaking of Erik, as I was driving Axell home, we saw Erik, Kevin Anthony and a bunch of their friends at the interesection of Park Victoria and Jacklin. They were going on a bike ride. Lol. Anyways, yea, it was a chilly night. We just played mind games and stuff. Then at 8:30 PM, I decided to go home because I told my mom I'd be back by then. So yea. Now I'm here. I think I'm gonna go back to Axell's house so I could go with him to pick up his mom. Yup.
     That was one of the funnest. I picked up Allyson and Axell around 1:30 PM and we went to Nob Hill to buy more food for the beach. We bought some ingredients for the wraps, some drinks, and chips. We then headed out to Jen's house. All I'll say is that we FAIL at kidnapping. Lol. We somehow made it into Jen's house. Sorry Jen, only certified ninjas are allowed to know how we got in. Anyways, Jen was sleeping when we came and we swept her away.
     I drove all the way to Sunset Beach for her birthday. It was really nice. Super foggy and empty. It was just like the beach was only ours for the day. The sand is really nice and the water was very cold. We ate some wraps and then us ladies went into the water. Jen and I got fully soaked while Allyson looked like she peed her pants. Lol. Axell didn't want to go in because he didn't want to get sick. You party pooper. We were joking around with jellyfish and Axell. If we got stung by a jellyfish we would tell Axell to pee on us. LOL. He's the only one that can actually aim... ANYWAYS. Us ladies went out for a walk and everything. It was really nice and peaceful. There were a camp of seagulls and Jen ran through them. I was scared that they were gonna poo on us! We then joined back with Axell. We just chilled and talked, it was nice and enjoyable.
     Then, around 6, we packed up everything and headed back to the car because we wanted to warm ourselves up and eat some ice cream. When we got back to the car, my car remote ran out of bateries so I couldn't open the car. FAIL! The alarm kept going off because I opened it manually. Ughh. I couldn't start the car either. I had to call my dad and he told me to press this button where the foot pedal was and turn the car on. Somehow, it worked. But I couldn't turn my car off. Bleh. So yea, we just drove back home and there was hecka traffic! Axell had to go home so we made a quick stop at Savemart. Jen went in and bought some ice cream while we stayed in the car and left it running. Then I took Axell home. I stopped by home first so I could get a new remote for my car and shorts for Allyson. Then I took Allyson home because it was 8:30 PM.
     At Jen's house, her family "surprised" her with a nice chocolate mousse cake. It was pretty good. Then we had some pizza and Jen opened my gift. I got her a giraffe and I made her a scrapbook a.k.a my "project". Lol. I got to cake her. WOOT! Ahh... What a fun day. Lol.
     When I got home, I immediately took a shower and collected all of the sand in a bottle. Then I went downstairs to watch tv, but then I forgot to do TRIG homework! So I stayed up till 12:30 doing it. I kept texting Marvin for help. Dude, our teacher doesn't teach us shit...
     Now I'm here alone in the library. There's a couple making out right next to me... ANYWAYS. I saw Adam again today! Lol. I should say Hi to him next time...

Long Day



     THANK YOU AXELL for calling and waking me up. If you didn't call me I would have surely overslept. I hate being immuned to alarms and stuff now...
     Even though I love my french teacher, French is a nightmare! It's seriously too easy for me! LOL. I would switch out, but French 2 conflicts with my Trig class so I'll just stay. It never hurts to review...
     I got into Trig! Just barely too! Thank you Joey Tran for not showing up. LOL. My teacher said she'd probably let everyone stay in that class so I would have gotten it anyways. So far, trig is easy but knock on wood because it'll probably get harder. I'm already ahead on homework. Yesh! I'm probably gonna do a lot of my homework tomorrow. Especially since Darren and I will be carpooling. Meaning, I leave school around 4 PM. So much downtime for me... Yay for libraries! Lol.
     School was ok today. After class, I met up with Kush, Tiffany and Darren. Tiffany went with me to buy books. We saw Ryan and chatted with him. Then we met up back with the guys. We had a whole Milpitas group around us. LOL. Patrick Trias, BJ, and a bunch of other people came to say Hi and stuff. Then Alex and Vince met up with us. Eventually, people came and went. When it was 1:30 PM, Darren and I left to Pizza My Heart. I didn't eat anything, but like the fatass he is, Darren ordered a pizza. LOL. After, I went to get gas and then I dropped off Darren at school and went home. I think I have a thing for guys who ride motorcycles. Yum.
     When I went home, I did my trig hw then I watched an episode of Full House. I don't remember where I stopped at, but I'm on the second disc right now. Then I took an hour nap, woke up and did tomorrow's trig homework. What to do...
     Like what my twitter says; Everytime I find myself upset, bored, mad, whatever, I want to talk to you. I don't know why, but you always seem to make my day better no matter what we're talking about. I just want to thank you for being my friend, despite the shit that we used to go through between each other. I hope that we have finally settled our differences because whenever we do "hate" each other, I can never seem to let go of my friendship with you. If it was anyone else, yes of course, but for you, my friendship with you is worth all the fight in the world. I don't know why that is, but that is that.
     After dinner, I went and picked up Axell. Then we went to Jen's house. I showed Axell my project right before we got in. Jen was sitting on her chair in front of her table, right next to the window. Axell and I got a clear view of her so we decided to scare her. It was really funny. We ran to the door and I first jumped out and yelled "BOO!" but Axell was like "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" and started hitting the window. It was hilarious! I think Jen fell off of her chair and screamed! When Jeremy opened the door he was like, "You guys scared the whole family!" LOL. Ahh what a good night. We just chilled in Jen's room and watched Ghost Rider which was on TV. I personally didn't think that movie was good. Afterwards, Jen and I wanted to go for a walk, but Axell and Jen ate some food before we left. We walked for a little until Axell said that he had to go home. He's just chicken... ANYWAYS. We headed back, Jen's mom got me a camera stand, a camera case, and a T-Shirt. LOL. She put it in a camera box so I thought she gave me a camera. I was like, "Oh... thaaaanks..." but she was like, "You have to open it" so I did and I was like, "OH THANKS!" LOL. I already had a camera so I thought that if she got me a camera, it'd be quite useless. But anyways, that was funny.
     Axell and I headed out and I took him back to his uncle's place. He introduced me to his family and we went our seperate ways. I'm glad I got to hang out with Axell and Jen today. It was nice. I certainly filled my craving of hanging out with Axell. Oh YESH! Lol. It was fun though.
     It's 9:30 right now. It's too early in the morning! But I gotta take Kevin to De Anza so we could get books. YOU OWE ME COUSIN. Times a million too! I really like this picture that I edited...
     Yay for the power of photobucket. Yes, I said photobucket. I don't have photoshop. I think Axell looks like a cutie in this picture, don't you think? Plus us ladies have out tongues sticking out and all of us is winking(ish). I LOVE this picture! It's the best. I just wish I didn't cut myself out... OH WELL.
     It was a quiet peaceful morning. I did the usual on Sunday mornings; eat pho with my family. We had a party at night so I expected my day to be filled with cleaning, cleaning, and of course, more cleaning. As I was cleaning I got a random phone text from Jen. She wanted to hang out today! I immediately agreed but then, what were we going to do? I didn't want to spend any money so we had to be creative. Jen had practice from 1 to 3, so between that time, I decided to longboard over to Wilson's house. He kept me captive for about 10 minutes and fed me homemade fruit sorbet. After I escaped, I longboarded back home and cleaned for the remeinder of the time I had left.
     Then... at 3, I got a phone call from Jen. She was in trouble! She had no ride to my house, so I went and picked her up at Southbay. We went to my cousin's house to pick up parcels for my mom. I dropped it off at home and that was when our adventure started.
      We agreed to go to the top level of the parking structure. Since there was a slope, we long boarded down there for a little. The patrollers were roaming around so we decided to call it quits after a few rounds. I didn't want to keep my car up there so it could get raped, so I drove it down and parked next to a nice yellow sports car. If they decided to break into any car, it would be that yellow car. Jen and I went inside the mall and immediately walked to Daiso. That store is just oh so cute. Jen found these Zodiac Animal juggling bags and started to sort them out and find all the animals. I took a picture with the ram while she took a picture with the monkey. She's such a monkey...
     After Daiso, we walked around the mall and we found KOHLS. (Happy Kenny?) Jen had this genius idea to find bras that wont fit us and take pictures with them. I got this massive bra in leopard print while she got a tiny bra in zebra print. Fun times with bras is all I can tell you.
     After Kohls, we were about to call it day until I reminded her why we went to the mall in the first place... to take pictures with mannequins! We walked around and found some nice mannequins and started taking pictures with them. People were looking at us and laughing. It's totally worth it. We went to Forever 21, Love Culture, and another store.
     After our mission was complete, we were about to call it quits AGAIN, but then... We saw Victoria's Secret. We absolutely HAD to get pictures with those mannequins! I made a new best friend! I noticed that, as I was taking pictures with the mannequin, these guys were watching us... CREEPER! Jen and I darted out of there immediately.
     We also found a Japanese Photo booth! We definitely had to take pictures in there! We didn't have to think twice. We paid the $8 and went in. It was so much fun. There were monkey bars so we could climb all over it and everything! I'll have to upload those pics later. It's the best! We finally called it quits and headed back home. Jen wanted to visit Frank so we had this genuis idea where I drive my parent's beamer and dress up like a gangster. Then Jen and Kevin will shove Frank into my car and we drive away. So I went home, got the keys to the beamer and went to Frank's house.
     I have to admit, that plan failed miserably. After our fail plan, the 4 of us just chilled in front of Frank's house. We talked and stuff and Jen and I had to go back home to eat dinner. Dinner was delicious! Yum for steak! Jen was salivating over all of the food. Lol! But yea. Salmon tastes so good! Jen liked it so much that my mom let her take some food home. LOL! After dinner, Jen and I headed out back to Frank's house. We were GOING to take him to Allyson's house but he didn't want to. Jen got fed up and we just left. We weren't going to let this ruin our day. Instead, we went and randomly picked up Axell and went to Allyson's house. We chilled around for a bit, went inside, and when it started pouring, we went back outside. We started dancing around and everything. It was so much fun! Axell didn't want to get wet so I gave him my umbrella to hold. He was our photographer of the day. I cracked the window in my car and started to blast music. Dancing in the rain and rocking out to music is the best shit in the world. Especially when you spend it with people like Jen, Allyson and Axell.

     That night was so much fun! It was still pouring when I drove Jen home. I'm glad Axell stayed with me. Thank you! It was really pouring and I had trouble seeing. But Axell helped me through it. I wouldn't've asked for a different night. It was just so much fun! Sorry I got your jacket wet Wilson! I'll wash it! I promise!

    This is the video Jen! It's hecka cute isn't it?
     I woke up at 10 today and drove to De Anza with Donald at 11 to get our ID cards. He's so awkwardly silent! Bleh. So I went and got my ID and everything but Donald had to go and pay fees first so he left to do that. I look like I'm friken mi deng! Lol. So yea, Donald payed for his fees and everything and then took his photo ID and then we went home. I dropped him off at Nob Hill, went home, played comptuer till 2 and went to visit the band. When I got to school, Darren was ironically right behind me. Lol.
     Today was such a productive day because I got my ID card, I returned Jen's, Kirsten's and Wilson's jacket, Allyson's shirt and salami, and I gave Dee the "cheat sheet". At school, we just longboarded around and stuff. Kaldy got hella mad at people and lectured them because a lot of them were missing out on practices and stuff. Lame! Yea...
     After band, I went over to Frank's house and took him to Fremont to look for the longboarding shop. We couldn't find it and ended up driving around somewhere random and stuff. Then we went back to Milpitas, got some really good pizza and went to the hills to sit on a curb and enjoy the scenery while eating pizza. Then we went to Axell's house to get him to longboard but he couldn't so I just took Frank home and went home myself.
     I feel like I accomplished a lot today. Yay! I want to visit Eugene you guys! Let's do it! I can drive there if you want, until I get tired or until my leg starts to cramp up. Let's do it!
     Wow! 3 days since I've blogged. Is that even possible? Well, more like 2 days. Lets do a recap then...

     Last day of work! Work was alright that day too, but in the end Allan Dale told the kids I was leaving. The first group, I started to tear up. I GET EMOTIONAL! Lol. The groups after that, I didn't. I honestly wish that there were more adults though. I wanted to say "bye" to the Barbarans. I love them! They're awesome! But none of the lady adults showed up. It's alright, I'll still be around.
    After work, I packed all of my stuff, emptied my locker, took my belts and gear and stuff and went home. I'm gonna miss working there. I seriously can't believe I don't work there anymore! It's shocking. After two years of dedicated(ish) service and now I'm gone. It's a good thing though, I can focus more on cake making and stuff.
     After I left work, I went home and started cleaning. My is clean again! I'm gonna try to keep it clean on a daily basis. Key word: TRY. So I clean clean clean. Shower then leave to go to my cousin's house to visit relatives. I brought over that cake that I made for Bianca that I never got to give her. I was thinking about throwing it away, but why waste a perfectly good cake? So I brought it over, had the children eat it, but not all of it was gone when I left. I stayed there for a little until I finished doing what I needed to do for NEOPETS, then I took my brother's home and cleaned some more. I'm a friken addict for neopets now. It's bad... My account name is BANHZAII.

     I went out to eat PHO with family like usual. This mexican girl sold us strawberries for $7. It was nice and fresh too! Yum! We went to the hospital to visit my great grandma, she's 97. While I was walking in the hospital, I was hecka picturing myself in Seattle Grace. Oh, how I wished to see Mc Dreamy... But its alright, I saw my great grandma one last time while she's alive. The doctor said she has malnutrition so she's super boney and fragile. She has heart problems so they can't stick I.Vs in her to help her. Because she is malnutritioned, the food she wants to consume doesn't go to her stomach, instead it goes to her lungs which causes her to cough and she'll eventually get pneumonia. So basically, because of her condition, they can't do anything about it and she's gonna die in 3-5 days. All they can do is give her what she wants, if she wants food, feed her until she doesn't want it anymore. It was really sad. Even though I didn't know her very well, I couldn't help but tear up just a little. It was very emotional for her daughter. But yea...
     After the hospital, we went to my cousin's house to drop off something, then we went home. At home, I started cleaning andcutting up half of the strawberries. While I was cutting, I decided to make some chocolate covered strawberries. I used up all of my chocolate chips and the remaining bag of the candy melts. I think chocolate definatley taste better. To make chocolate covered strawberries, you just have to have the melted chocolate or fondue in a bowl. Take a strawberry and with a towel wipe off remainder of water. Then just dip and put it on a plate or something. Then just stick it in the fridge for about an hour I'm guessing. Then, VOILA! Lol. It tasted good. I made alot of chocolate covered strawberries till I ran out of chocolate and vanilla.
     After that, I showered Clover and took a shower myself. Then I just chilled for a while at home while the rest of my family, excluding my sister, went to my cousin's again! Around 5:30 I decided to head out. When I got there, I made honeydew pearl drinks and ate oyster with this bread with spread on top. It was hecka good! I ate so much though. Then I went and played some more Neopets and took my brothers and cousin back to my house.
     After I dropped them off at home, I went to Wilson's for a random BBQ. Albert, Perry, Darren, Tina, and Julia were there also. Wilson's cousin is hecka funny! Darren and Albert were taking random pictures together and after this picture:
no comment
look at albert's face...
Wilson's cousin was watching and gave Darren and hecka weird face. Darren was like "Uhm... nice day we have" His cousin was like "wtf" and started cracking jokes with his accent. It was hecka funny! You just have to be there to laugh. But yea. We stayed there till 12 until I had to go home.
    Instead of going home, I went over to Axell's place and chilled there for about 12 minutes. Then we both went back to my house and Axell stayed there till 4 in the morning. FUCKING AXELL! Haha, jkjk. It was fun though. We talked and watched VH1 and laughed at all the retardedness there. So I drove Axell home around 4. IF YOU GET INTO TROUBLE, IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I told you that too! After that, I went home and slept.

     So far, I just went to TK Noodles to eat with family and Lions to buy a shitload of groceries. Now I'm here.