The more I think about it, the more I wish it was real. I want everything to go as planned; I talk to him online, I find him at school, and we live happily ever after. But really? How often does "happy ever after" come? I wish I could talk to him. I wish he could just finally go on Myspace and add me. Lol. I wish I could be his knight in shining armor and save him like last time, but this time I'll introduce myself. This is weird. Me liking a guy I hardly know. Could it be his masterful skill of being a chef that draws me to him? All I could do right now is just stand afar and admire him, hoping that my "one day" will come.
     For the past 2 night, I've been having dreams of him. Well, more of me looking for him. The first one was when I was singing "Ordinary People" by Asher Book. Instead of him coming, Asher comes out of nowhere and sings with me. Of course I'm happy, but I'm not satisfied. Instead I am looking around as I sing, hoping that he is there. But he's not. The second one was when I'm in a certain type of building. I don't want to explain because you guys will just be confused. I see that Kevin guy from orientation and he gives me a kiss. It's weird I know. But at that second, we both love each other. But, when we depart I question myself. I ask myself why I am doing this. I like another person and that person isn't Kevin. Instead, I look out windows hoping to see him in his car, but he isn't.
    What is that supposed to mean? Looking for someone who isn't there? All I could say is 2 more days! My only fear of everything is:
1) He is actually gay, which would suck in my part but could be useful in the long run.
2) He falls for that Caitlyn girl. I would really be jealous though.
     I sound like a creepy stalker. I admire a guy who probably doesn't know I exist. Ahh well... That's life. 2 more days!
     On the bright side, I cleaned my sister's filthy room. It's really clean now. I also have a master plan on how I want my room to look like if I remodeled it. I kinda cleaned my room today, but then I stopped, like how I always do. Instead, I watched 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. I also picked up Jen from the mall and we went to Banana Republic to see Axell. I betcha one of the workers thinks we're weird. We were running around, peering behind corners and hiding behind manniquins. Lol. After that, we go to the Angel Pix place and take more pictures! Then I drive Jen home. Now I'm at home. Starving. I think Axell's mom wanted me to come over to have some food, but I'm not gonna go if Axell's not at home! That's weird! I guess his mom doesn't hate me anymore. Yay!
     -Banhzaii



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