Lala

8/10/2009

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     I woke up at 8:30 today when Kenny called me. It was the first official day of band camp and for once, we were on the other side looking in. I got ready and gathered all of my belongings and headed out around 9:30. Once I arrived there, I walked to the band room just as the band geeks finished their warm up lap. As I walked in looking for Darren or Kenny, I was surprised when two people hugged me from behind. It was Jen and Allyson of course! I wandered my way back into the band room and joined the rest of the guys; Kenny, Darren, Matt P, Alan Berryhill, and Perry. We talked for what almost seemed like forever but ended up being about an hour or so. What a long day it's gonna be I thought to myself. I have to admit that I was pretty bored and tired when the guys were chatting. Alan Hsu later joined us but didn't stay for long. I got so bored that posed a solution to the boredom; go play at Edgies or go to my house and play Nazi Zombies. Darren, Kenny and I ended up agreeing to go back to my place. As Darren and I were walking to our cars, Perry was following us, I think he wanted me to invite him. Oops...
     Well I got home first and made some pancakes. Then Kenny showed up and we talked for a little. I showed him this awesome website! It's called Cakejournal It's this blog site where this lady also shows her creations and how she makes it and stuff. It's pretty amazing! I think she's from Denmark so all of her ingredients are by weight. But it's alright because she has really good tips and everything. Anyways, Darren arrived a little late because he went to run some errands and buy himself Panda Express. When he finally arrived, we turned on Nazi Zombies and started playing. When Darren and Kenny played, they got really far and had some pretty good techniques but they eventually died. Nazi Zombies is so fun! By the time it was 1:40 PM, we left the house and headed back towards school.
     When we arrived at school, we were expecting sectionals but Mr. Kaldy was just running them through pep band music. They have Hot 'N Cold by Katy Perry! Haha, funny. No offense, but they sound pretty bad. They had sectionals at 2:30 which was fun. I met Vincent's sister and another guy flute. They had to fill out this paper thing so I guess they can share with each other later. It was fun I have to admit. After sectionals, Kaldy just showed them some stuff on the internet and stuff like that. I had to leave at 3:20 PM for work though, so I didn't stay the whole day.
    Work was pretty easy, except the advanced dragons. I had Kyle, Krishnaa and Vishal (OMG). Kyle is good, but he talks a lot. Krishna is good but the other two are hold him back, and Vishal? I don't know what to say about him. I guess that he's just not of my favorite students to teach. I easily get frustrated with him. Besides that class, the other's went well and smooth. It was pretty good I must admit. Michelle bought us Jamba Juice! Yay! I got to teach the candidates too. Well not really "teach" but more of review. I had fun with the candidates. After OJ showed up, I left and talked to Darren for a little because he showed up to visit me. He was on the phone with Wilson when I saw him. I miss you WILSON! After that, we both just went home. At home, I just relaxed for a little and went on the computer.
     By the time it was 7:30 PM, I was heading out the door to take my brother to blackbelt class where I was going to run through the 1st degree black belts with kicks and stuff. I actually had a lot of fun teaching them. I got them to be loud for the most part, and now they know their curriculum, or they should've gotten the gist of it. I don't know why OJ is always complaining about them. They're only human, just like him. Whatever, I don't even want to talk to him. Sadly today though, I didn't go to Patty's. Tear. It's alright, next time for sure. I just stayed home and relaxed and finally went to bed.
     -Banhzaii
 
     The day started off slow. It was nice, warm yet breezy morning. I woke up and instantaneously went on the computer to blog about my day yesterday. I recalled all of those outrageous events that happened the day before. What a day. By the time it was 11, my family and I headed off to lunch in downtown San Jose. I ordered a not so healthy fried chicken, rice, and broccoli on the side. Although it wasn't what I originally craved for, I ate it anyways with little complaints. It was fairly delicious and filling. After lunch, my father drove us down to Lowes' to buy more flowers for the garden. We stayed there for quite a while and bought a cart full of beautiful flowers that ranged from size to color. When we arrived home from Lowes', I went on the mac for quite sometime and began to feel drowsy. I headed towards my brothers' territory and collapsed on his bed as the AC was blowing cold air.
     I was awakened by the sounds of the Xbox. My brother had been playing Nazi Zombies yet the Map was undistigushable. I later found out that he bought another map to enjoy amongst himself and his fellow peers. Follwing that, I went back to my room to discussed my new knowlege of Nazi Zombies amongst Wilson, Darren, and Kenny. Darren dicouraged me quite a bit and I chose to only speak with Kenny and Wilson.
     As I was speaking to Kenny, we noticed that today was the last day for the "Buy 1, Get 1 Free" Jamba Juice coupon, so we set sails on our quest for some jamba. Along with us came Clover, who constantly stopped to sniff the grass and mark his territory. Once we met up at the park, we walked towards the bridge and the paved walk way by the creek. We decided to cross the bridge in hopes of getting to our destination quicker. Kenny mentioned a small path that crossed some weeds and plants that would get us there so we crossed the plants as it grazed our legs. But as the path was narrowing down, I noticed a clearing on the otherside, so we crossed the man made border and walked on the pre paved sidewalk. Sadly enough, my idea wasn't the best of the day so we back tracked and found a metal fence that we later had to jump over. Once crossing that fence, we were in the vacinity of the town houses. We walked till we reached civilization and we finally ended up at our destination. Once we entered, a blast of cold air hit us, yet our journey was not yet finished. Jamba Juice was packed with last minute customers, yet Kenny managed to make his way to the front. After ordering, we stayed outside and chatted for a little bit until he pointed our a past friend of ours, Patricia An. We exchanged our hi's and she entered the doors of jamba juice to meet up with her friends. Funny enough, one of her guy friends commented loudly and said, "That girl is cute!" I looked at Kenny and his expression was priceless. He was like, "Did he just say what I think he said?" Another one for the books I might add. Kenny thinks I should reconsider wearing my booty shorts. After we got our goods, a wave of refreshment and satifaction hit us. We walked back to my house taking the correct way and ended up playing countless rounds of Nazi Zombies, the new map. It was fun until the zombie dogs attacked. After many rounds of that, we talked for a bit and decided that our adventure highly matched Harold and Kumar: White Castle because of our endless quest for some jamba, minus the pot of course. Ironically enough, when we arrived back at my house, my brother was watching Harold and Kumar.
     After Kenny's departure, I resulted back to the mac to spread some positivity around. What a day I must admit. Tomarrow holds yet another adventure with the first day of band camp, possibly work, and more adventures, but with Patty and possibly Daniel.
     -Banhzaii

" IT'S GREAT TO BE ME
I AM MY GREATEST ASSET "

lol...
 
Day One:
     I woke up at 6:45 AM got ready and headed out to the studio to meet up with Allan Dale who drove Patrick and I to Boot Camp. We started off with some boxing and other random techniques. Kjn Ernie taught us a new pattern that we're supposed to know for the Boot Camp on Saturday as a demo. An MMA fighter came in and taught us a basic routine that they do to build it into their muscle memory, it's called pumelling. I was partners with Mariah. It's not that bad I guess, you get used to it after a while. It's hard to explain. Then he taught us clinching, then pumel and clinch, and then we added body locks. Pretty fun yet NO ROOM whatsoever. Mariah and I kept getting run over. Bleh. So basically that day consisted of conference calls where the guest speaker was called and they spoke to us through the phone and it was on the loud speakers so we can hear them. We had to take notes and stuff too. The first conference call person was really good and interesting. The ones after that was boring. One of them talked about how to make more money and stuff. I didn't really like that one personally. But yea. We had a bunch of breaks inbetween and also practiced more of that new pattern thing. Pretty boring boot camp I must say. We ended half and hour earlier and Allan Dale just drove us all home.
     When I got home, I ate then went straight to bed. I went to work a little late because I went out and bought Patrick and Allan Dale some Jamba Juice. Allan Dale got Orange Dream Machine and Patrick and I got Carribbean Passion. Yum. Work wasn't that bad. Mariah didn't show up so I had to answer calls and stuff. I'm glad that almost no one called. Blackbelt class wasn't that bad today. I kinda had half a class because I had to sign up RJ and Relaine for boot camp. But yea. After class I drove my brother home, then Kim, Allan Dale and I went out to Chilis to enjoy some Bottomless Chips and Salsa because I was craving them. We also ordered onion strings (ehh) and boneless buffalo wings (yum). It was a nice and suprisingly super filling dinner although we had all appetizers.
     After Chilis I went over to Kim's house and we talked for a little. I stayed till 11:30 PM. When I got home, I showered then went straight to bed but I couldn't sleep till 1 AM. Bleh.

Day two:
     Woke up same time and got ready. I headed out to the studio and we waited and waited for Shelby to show up. She was hecka late! Lol. We picked up Patrick and then left to go to Boot Camp. We got there just on time, but we got yelled at for being late. We just did that demo pattern and then we had a conference call I think first. After that, Ray Saint (author of the book "It's Great to be You"), spoke to us. He's really inspiring. We had a break, then came bac on the floor for more action. An MMA Fighter taugh us some of his moves and we did that for a little. It's hard to explain. Then another conference call, then The Chief Executor of Silicoln Valley came and spoke to us about leadership. Really Inspiring. Break. Action, then Ray Saint spoke again. More breaks, more action, Then Ray Saint for one last time. He's a really positive and inspiring person. It's hard to explain because I've learned so much from him. I kinda want to buy his book now, sounds good. Anyways. Boot camp was more fun today that before. We ended later than expected but it's alright.
     The 5 of us, Shelby, Allan Dale, Patrick, Mariah and I went to La Milpa to have some lunch. OMG Service is fast and awesome. I want to go there again! Lunch was nice and filling, I wish they gave us more chips though. Bleh. Anyways, Allan Dale, Shelby and Mariah stayed for work while I drove Patrick home. I didn't want to go home after so I just went over to Kenny's house to talk for a little. I guess we're not gonna play pool today. Tear. Ehh. I went home chilled for a little, then decided to clean. I just finished cleaning what I can. It's so much better, but it could be improved more. Yup. Anyways I'm super tired. Boot camp tomarrow 7-2. Oh boy, this will be fun.
     -Banhzaii
 
     Today was a pretty good day. Jen called me around 8:45 AM and we talked till about 10. After we hung up, I had breakfast and watched t.v. I got bored after a while and decided to clean my room till it was 12. It's not that clean.
     At 12, Kenny came over but I was still in my PJ's. We're supposed to watch Harry Potter 6 at 12:40 PM. Uh oh.. Lol. So I got ready and we headed out to Jamba for that buy one get one free. We got Razzmatazz and Peach Pleasure. I like the razzmatazz one better, it tasted good. We met up with Clare and Wilson Yu who both went to get some Blush. After Jamba, we all headed out to the movies. Kenny and I had to shove the Jamba in my bag to sneak it in. LOL. I paid for your KENNY. Who wears the pants now? Haha, just kidding. It's alright, you paid me back. Lol. Yup. When we got to the theater, it wasn't really crowded, we got pretty good seats. Kenny went and bought Kettle Corn for $6.50. Lol. Then Clare and Wilson met up with us. We just chilled for a bit and then the movie started. There were some really funny parts and the sad part, for those of you who watchd it.
     After the movie was finished, I actually was unsatisfied. I thought it could've been better. I just wished that Malfoy had more speaking parts. He was silent basically the whole time! Grr. Iono, I guess I just thought it'd be better. We just walked around the mall for a bit. Called Darren but he said that he's not gonna go to the mall and we, Kenny and I, just decided to go to Darren's house aferwards. Clare and James left so I had to take Wilson home. We visited Linsey but she wasn't there. Anyways, after I drove Wilson home, we went over to Darren's house. We played some rockband. Skyped with Wilson and played Nazi Zombies. Omg I suck but Darren and Kenny keep laughing at me. They think I'm funny. I got hecka lucky too! After they opened the "HELP" door, my first new gun was a ray gun. The second game, I got a machine gun and a flamethrower. I got to level 6 both rounds.
     After a while of games, we ate some dinner. I wasn't really hungry because I ate some kettle corn while we were playing games, but dinner was really good and extreemly filling. After dinner, we just chilled and syped with Wilson. Darren put him on the BIG screen! Lol. Anyways, Kenny and I left afterwards and I just went home, showered and slept. Boot camp tomarrow. 8 AM - 2 PM...Tear.
     -Banhzaa
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     Yesterday was the Jack's Mannequin and The Fray concert! So Saturday morning, I had to wake up early to go to work around 9 AM. I got there at 9 and kinda did nothing because Allan Dale wasn't there. I kinda cleaned and reorganized stuff, but that's mainly it. When Allan Dale came, we just talked about stuff. It was a good chat. Classes weren't that bad. I don't remember much but yea. Lol. It ended around 1 PM. I felt like SOMEONE was complaining too much because she didn't have to work that day and yet the phone was ringing, so I had to pick it up. Even though you're not working, can you at least pick up the phone? It's not that hard, and plus, it's what you do anyways when you DO work. After the adults class, she was helping some people out with merchandise I think and she was cleaning up ready to go when there was a parent standing there waiting to get some help so I kinda was like, "Hey sir, do you need help with anything?" and he's like, "Yes, I want to know how much it'll cost, etc." and I was like O, Mariah? And she totally was like *sigh* -_- Pout. Kinda thing. I mean, if you're not gonna work, then don't show up, especially in your uniform. Plus you can't expect Allan Dale and I to know all this stuff especially if we're strictly on the floor.
Kenny's Wife
    Anyways, enough of that sad stuff. I went home, cleaned a little and got ready for the concert. I had so much time left so I went to sleep for a little, then Kenny showed up first and Darren came like half and hour later. So after Darren came, we took off in my car and went to Subway. After Subway, we went back to Darren's place for some refreshments and we were on our way.

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     Friken Darren scared me like a million times while I was driving. I made so many lane changes even though I didn't have to because it merged anyways. Lol. Funny. When we got there, parking was quick and fast, and then we walked to the ampitheather. When we got there and in, we immediately went to buy some shrits. The wait in line felt like forever! It was hecka slow! But we made it eventually. I bought a black "The Fray" shirt with concert dates on the back and a dark blue "Jack's Mannequin" shirt. Kenny bought this really nice "Jack's Mannequin" jacket. I'm so jealous, it looks hecka nice. After that, we walked around and found our seats. We sit pretty close!! :] The guest band was Vedera! Kenny's in love with the lead singer. Lol. It's hecka funny. She's pretty good actually. I need to look her up.

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    After Vedera, we just chilled for a bit. Kenny and I made a bet to see which band is opening next. I said Jack's Mannequin but Kenny thought that The Fray was gonna go. During that time, I was texting Jenann with Darren's phone because she was there also! She said that Jack's Mannequin was gonna go up next. Who ever lost the bet, the other person has to be their slave for a day during band camp. In the end, I of course won. Kenny's gonna be my SLAVE! YESH. Anyways, Jack's Mannequin has so much energy performing. It was pretty good! I didn't know all of the songs, but I sang along to a few of them. I took hecka pics thanks to my amazing camera.

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     When Jack's Mannequin was finished, Jenann and I met up for a little and chilled and stuff. I brought her over to our place and then she had to leave. By then, The Fray was about to begin. They had everything set up. Kenny had pretty good seats! Next to 2 girls, who looked bored the whole concert. Lol. The Fray was alright. I expected more introduction to the songs than constant singing. They kept singing and singing. But yea, not bad. I have to say that after that No Doubt concert, my expectations are pretty high now. But yea, the main focus on that concert is to just spend time with Darren and Kenny and Wilson's spirit. Every minute spent with you guys are unredeamable, I will cherish every moment of it. After the concert, Kenny wanted to buy A Fray shirt, so we waited in lines again, which took forever, but we good the goods we were waiting for. It was worth the wait.

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    We then took some last minute pics of the Ampitheater and walked to the parking lot. Getting home wasn't that bad. I'm glad Darren was there to guide me. Stupid elephant's memory... When we got back to Milpitas, we didn't want to go home just yet so Darren called Albert and asked if we could come over, which we did. We talked/messed around for 45 minutes. It was fun. We left around 12:45 AM and I took them back to my place as they left. That was a pretty fun night!
     I miss Wilson! I think we all do! Weesonaa I can't wait till you come back! Don't forget to TOKBOX with us!
     -Banhzaii
 
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    I don't even remember sleeping that morning. I just layed down on the couch and closed my eyes. Lol. The next thing I knew, I was awake and it was around 10 AM. About 10:30 was when everyone was awake and I began making pancakes for breakfast. We watched 'How I Met Your Mother' in the mean time. It's hecka funny. We ate brunch about 11:30 I think. Yum pancakes. Basically the whole day, we watched the rest of 'How I Met Your Mother'.

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OMG I look like I have a double chin..
     When that was finished, we pulled out the board games and played one game of Cranium (guys vs. girls; girls won of course) and a few rounds of Scattergories. Hecka fun. Lol. Dinh didn't know the Kung Fu Fighting song! LMAO. We finished by 6 or 7, packed up our belongings and cleaned up our mess. I think we left around 7 or 8, I'm not really sure. The car was pretty packed when we left and we headed off to International Cuisine to visit Fadi and Kristen but the weren't working today. Instead, we just wrote them a thank you note and signed it. Afterwards, we were back on the road to finish our trip with some Sonic. It was about a 45 minute drive until we reached there, but before, the navigator got us lost and we were driving in the ghetto residential area. I was seriously scared that someone was going to drive up next to us and shoot us. I have a phobia of that. Eventually (thanks to Darren's GPS on his phone) we found our way to Sonic, which was kinda in the middle of nowhere. We ended our day with a delicious dinner. Totally filling and fun, it was the first time I've been there.
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     It was a 45 minute drive home and Darren dropped off Dinh and Angela first, then Albert, Wilson, then finally me. I told Darren that I was glad that we didn't have ANY drama at all whatsoever and he said, "Of course, we're like family. Plus we don't stoop that low." I'm glad that I went on this trip. This was a trip of the summer. I'm glad I went with these people because we're easily persuaded and entertained. No one had anything against what each of us wanted such as going somewhere or eating or anything, we all just agreed, no arguments. Even though I wasn't as close to Dinh or Angela, it was just like we were friends to begin with. I'm thankful that Albert planned this trip while his parents agreed to it. I'm glad that Darren volunteered to drive. We all cracked jokes to each other, calling each other fat, making fun of the random things Dinh did at night, Angela's sleep talking, my snoring, Wilson going "MORNING WOOD", etc. It was just an enjoyable time. If there ever was another trip like this, I'd definately take it and for those of you who didn't go, next go! Seriously!
     -Banhzaii
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     Yay! I get to blog about my day before the next day starts.
     We all woke up around 9 because Albert wanted to take us jogging and out for brunch. We kinda were still tired from the day before and Angela convinced him to not jog. Yes! We ended up leaving the house around 10 or 10:30 and walked to The First Awakening which is a brunch place. We saw so many dogs, poor Dinh, she's terribly frightened by dogs. As we were walking we played a lot of games to pass the time. It felt so fast! When we got there, we just told them how many people and they told us to come back in 15 minutes. We didn't really have anything to do so we just ended up looking around the shopping area where it was located at. We ended up going to this candy store. OMG candy galore. We spent about 10 minutes there. Darren, Wilson and I ended up buying sour candy together. Yay! When we went back to the restaurant, we had to wait a few more minutes so I just kinda sat on this truck toy thingy...
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     Anyways, after we got seated and comfortable we ordered our food and enjoyed brunch. It seriously was really good. I didn't have any money left, well enough to pay for my brunch so Albert spotted me, good thing I got something hecka cheap! (Two Eggs; 2 sunny side up eggs + extra crispy potatoe cubes + english muffins = $7)

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    After brunch, we walked around Canary Row to look for more candy shops. We went into about 3 and then we went to the beach to walk on the sand. It was really nice, the guys started to skip rocks. Dorks. LOL. After about 5 minutes on the beach, we went back to the dock and watched this guy spray paint. It was seriously Amazing! He used raw materials to use as stencils. Wow, I really wanted to get something for Allan Dale but I didn't have enough cash. Next time, right guys? They said that we should do a day trip next time. Yay! So anyways, we decided to head back to make dinner. It took a little bit longer because most of us were in pain (our feet) or we were tired.

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     When we reached home, we rested for a bit and then started making dinner. Albert grilled the patties while Dinh made fried rice. I cut all the fruits for the fruit salad and also attempted to make nacho cheese. It totally did not come out correctly. Bleh. After everything was made we packed the car and headed out to Carmel-By-The-Sea. I sat in the back and slept for a little. Bad idea, I got hecka carsick. Ughh. 

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     When we arrived, we walked around the city for a little bit. It reminds me of a Santana Row. Seriously nice houses! After a while of walking, we got everything out of the car and went to the beach to find a spot. Albert and Angela went off to see if there were any bonfire spots but the came back and told us that it was on the other side of the beach so we had to pack the car and drive to the other side of the beach. Nice houses once again. I want to move to Monterey to get a beach house! So yea, we got out and found a spot on the beach. We set up everything and Wilson started to dig a hole for the bonfire. Dinner was really good. I also lit my first match today! Successfully too! Darren recorded it. Lol. Since we didn't have much fire wood, we immediately began the s'more making when the fire was at a good level. S'more making was so fun and delicious. It made us bond even more. We took so many pics. After a while, we minus Dinh decided to go to the water to walk around and take pics. We played the 'How deep can you go' game. First we let the waves hit our feet for a little bit, then we go in 5 steps deeper and we keep doing it until someone backs out. It's seriously hard because the water was FREEZING cold! I lost first of course in the end they all agreed to get out. Lol. When we went back to our site, we packed up everything because the fire was dying out. At the last minute, Albert pulled out his sparklers and we played for it for a while. Lol. Fun. After those died out, we killed the fire and packed up the car.

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     We got kinda lost on the way home but we made it. After we got home, we just relaxed a bit and then went into the jacuzzi. Dinh didn't go because she already showered but yea. The Jacuzzi was nice and relaxing. We talked about Sleep walking/talking and dreams in general. It was kinda creepy. After we showered off, we watched 'How I Met Your Mother' and had hot cocoa. It's pretty funny. But yea. Byee!
     -Banhzaii


Angela: It's too long.
Darren: Haha, what did she say? :]
 

     So today, Darren came over to pick me up around 9:30 but my sister took my car so we had to wait for her to come home so I could get my stuff from my car. We waited hecka long so we decided to go to Wilson's to pick him up then we came back home. My sister finally showed up though. Finally. Lol. So yea we showed up about an hour late. SORRY ALBERT don't kill me. I felt so bad, I brought him a cantaloupe! So we left a couple minutes later and we were on our way to Monterey.

lodge
     So at Monterey we immediately got comfortable in our lodge. It's small but it's nice and cozy. Like a mini home. So after we got settled in, we got ready to head out for some lunch. We had to choose between Thai Paradise or International Cuisine but since Albert met a girl from Drum Major camp who works at International Cuisine, we chose to go there instead. So we decided to walk there and everything. Once we got to the restaurant area, Albert was like "Let's go in there guys, I've been there before". But we were like "Noo we need to find International Cuisine".

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     Ironically enough, the restaurant Albert chose WAS International Cuisine. We stayed there for about an hour and a half. The service was great. We were immediately greeted with friendliness. We ordered a family New Yorker pizza, Lasagna and 4 cheese ravioli. Yum. After the pizza arrive, Albert's friend, Kristen, arrived. She's really nice and funny. Go Albert! Haha. So after lunch, we decided to go grocery shopping. We took a scenic route to Nob Hill. After we bought all our ingredients and stuff, I got free matches from the cashier because I was 18. Yeayuhh! Haha. So we left for about a minute and we came back because our bag ripped and it cracked the salsa container. Bleh. We got a brand new salsa free of charge though. Yay!

apocalypto
     After Nob Hill, we walked back home. Lunch was really enjoyable. When we got back to the lodge, we chilled and watched some youtube. Haha. We're such dorks. We then decided to watch Apocalypto. Omg. That movie is so random and so gory... After the movie it was dinner time so Dinh and Angela made spaghetti for us to eat.

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     I pre popped popcorn and seasoned it while setting up the fruit salad. Yum watermelons and cantaloupe. We all pitched in with dinner all together, but Dinh and Angela did the most. Thank you! It tasted so good! After our wonderful dinner, we just watched Chronicals of Narnia and now I'm here. Not much to do at this time.. Its 1:47 AM and we're all half awake plus watching CSI plus doing random stuff. Haha. Maybe I'll upload pics later.
     -Banhzaii

 

     What are friends? People who back stab you and talk shit about you behind your back? No. Friends. Real friends are the ones that have your back and don't say shit about you to anybody. I know everyone does it, talk crap and everything, we're human and its inevitable.
     What I can't possibly get out of my head is "why". Why talk shit about me? I did nothing wrong but try and make some new friends. Is that wrong? I'm sorry that my bold personality has allowed you to feel threatened in anyway. I don't mean to talk jokingly with other guys as if I'm hitting on them or even FLIRTING with them. I've been comfortable with them like how I am to anybody; Guy or Girls. I don't mean to make THAT GUY that you like fall for me. I can't control other people's feelings, they choose to feel what they feel and if they like me, then it's inevitable for me. I don't mean to lead people on with my personality, it's just harmless chatting for me and honestly if you were my real friends, you would've seen past YOUR thoughts and realized that there was no intentions to anything. You should know that I look down on COCK BLOCKERS, I don't like them so why would I be them? It all comes to one conclusion; Jealousy
     I'm starting to second guess my friendship with you guys. I've done so much for you guys and this is how you repay me? Wow. Some friends you are. I expected so much better from you guys especially if you don't like drama. If you don't like it so much, why be apart of it? I cherish my friendship with you guys the most. Do you know why? Besides Kim, you guys are basically my only other girlfriends that I can tell my shit to. My friends from school are only friends but you guys, I consider you guys my best friends. But seriously? If this is what best friends do then I don't want to have any best friends. Maybe I shouldn't have any friends at all.
     I know that you were only out to look out for him, but seriously? Telling him shitty lies about me? Wow. Unbelievable. If you were honestly mature enough and wanted to get away from the drama, you would've told him something different.
     I know that at the lake when you ladies had your little chatting circle, you guys were talking about me. It's no doubt you were, I don't need any proof but what I feel. I felt that you guys were hella talking shit about me and you know what? Fine. Go ahead, just remember that I KNOW everything and that Karma's a Bitch.
     No, I did not lead him on, or any of the guys. I can't help it if they like me, I'm not gonna change who I am nor will I be fake. He already knows that I'm at the point where I'm not here to impress anyone, for once, I am comfortable in my own skin. It really makes me happy being me and being so comfortable with people that I can joke around with them. But honestly, I only see it as jealousy. If you were so jealous and so frightened, why invite me in the first place? Why bother? I would have totally accepted it because I'm not the type to be butt hurt about non invitations.
     So what's said is said. I wish to put it in the past. I just want you to know that I don't go up to people telling them my shit and my problems, they come up to me to check up on me because that's what friends are for. I live by many mottos; "Get sad, Get mad. Get over it." , "leave your baggage at the door." , "the past is the past." etc.
     Honestly, since this is in the past, I'm this close to putting our friendship in the past. I don't like dealing with shit like this, and if you know me enough to care, you know that I'd rather walk away from drama especially if it's THIS ridiculous. I wouldn't be ranting about this if I didn't care, but I do care. I built this wall up, but now it's been torn down. I feel as if I can trust no one. I feel like the world has walked out on me when I needed someone the most and that's the shittiest feeling ever. When you feel as if you lost trust in everybody, expecially your best friends.
     -Banhzaii

P.S - Thanks to Hieu, Kenny, Darren, and Kevin Anthony for sticking with me through thick and thin. And to Axell for always loving me and protecting me. I couldn't have asked for a tighter, more loving and caring group of people.

 

     I figure I shouldn't write about my whole day in my blogs, it's getting uninteresting... Unless something interesting happens then I'll talk about it. But something kinda interesting happened today; Kenny and Jenann came over. We baked red velvets. The first batch, SOMEONE added one extra teaspoon, it came out alright, I had to give that to OJ because he ordered some. Sorry OJ, I still hope your mom likes them. The second batch was pretty good. After we made cream cheese frosting. I think it tasted alright, we added food coloring and stuff to make it different colors. We made Purple! After that, we just chilled, watch Is She Really Dating Him? and saw all the douche bags on that show (especially douch jockey) and we played Scattergories. Then they both went home. It was a pretty fun day, yet hot.
     Today, my sister also waxed one leg and one armpit. It hurt. She used 2 different waxes, one was a hot wax and the other wasn't. But yea, it hurt. After painful waxing and 1 hairless leg/armpit later, Wilson and I went to Darren's to rockband till 12 AM. We went back to RB 1 and I played Bass/Guitar on Expert! I still suck, and I still die. Bleh. Singing IS so much easier, only if you knew the song though.
     Random thoughts in my head:
-I wonder if I'm still making that ice cream cake. I feel like I'm being too pushy, but that's because I still want to make it. But I'll be fine if I do. How are you supposed to have a cake, if you don't tell the cake maker all the info? Bleh.
-Yes guys, I'm totally talking about you guys. You guys are terribly annoying...
-I hope OJ's mom doesn't hate me for those cupcakes. I KNEW I should've made a new batch. Bad Jessica
-Clover needs a girlfriend. Anyone? Female Yorshire Terrier thats CUTE and possibly under $600? Anyone?
-When are you guys taking me to watch Harry Potter 6? I wish Kim was here to watch it with me! Nooo....
     -Banhzaii


I Caught Myself
Twilight Soundtrack


Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you, of you

You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No I don't know what I want

You got it, you got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, hypnotic
You're leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this
You're not the one I believe in
With God as my witness

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you, of you

You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No I don't know what I want

Don't know what I want
But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
But I know in my heart it's not you

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you
I knew, I know in my heart it's not you
I never know what I want, I want, I want
Oh no, I should have never thought
by Paramore