I'm sorry that i've been neglectful to you weebly, but sometimes, you are my only friend in my time of need and self pity.

Left and right, my friends are becoming single once again. It makes me afraid.. Is it my turn now? 

Sometimes I doubt our relationship. We get into fights and arguments that sometimes will never resolve itself. You runaway and hide, or I runaway and hide. Either way, nothing gets solved, nothing gets better. You don't tell me everything you feel, no emotions whatsoever. Is it because you don't trust me? Perhaps I am not the one for you then.

I want us to get married, to live happily ever after, but are you really my happily ever after? 

You want me there for you, to be at home.. Afterall, home is where the heart is. But how can I stay at a place where I don't fit at all? No storage space for me, no parking space for me, no baking space for me. You say you will accomodate to my every will and need, but what if I need you with me at that very second? Where will you be at? Not home, I can tell you that.

You work countless hours at a job you dislike. You claim that it's for us, it's for our future. But right now, we have no future. I never see you anymore, I never get to eat lunch with you, I never get to do what I used to do with you. 

How can you ask me to stay at a place with you when you will never be around. Only 10% of that day will actually be spent in that room. 10% of that time will consist of sleeping, interneting, and showering. Will we be able to cook together, watch movies, play board games? No. 

I'm so scared. We're drifting apart yet we are holding on to 'what ifs' and make believe. We never go on dates anymore and everything just revolves around money and time. You are starting to care less for me and my emotions. You couldn't even tell me, let alone text me, that you were not planning on spending the night. I had to find out from your best friend. Embarrassing, right?

Why can't we talk normally without getting into a fight? Maybe this is the beginning of the end of our relationship... I'm still holding on, I'm still fighting. But sometimes.. just sometimes, You make me feel like there's no more hope, no more reason to fight.

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