you could be such a jerk sometimes. 

You should know how it feels like to put in hella effort for a friendship to blossom, yet you always fail to disregard me. 

You come to me for your problems, and I help you out. I give you my point of view. I listen. I never judge you. And when you ask for my help and opinions, I tell you. I tell you what to do, or what you should do, yet you NEVER listen to me. Why do you even come to me in the first place?

I know I do hella shit for people; people who I truly care about. I thought that you would’ve realize how much effort I put into our friendship.. but I guess you’re just like the others. 

I’m sick and tired of doing shit for people who don’t reciprocate the same back in return. What’s the fkn point? You made me really question my beliefs on karma… 

 
 
Can you stop? Everytime I have an issue with you, you always drag it out the extreme. 

I simply pointed out that you talked about cars a little too much. Cars that you see everyday, stuff that weren't unique. I told you that I was bothered and annoyed by it. 

For the longest time, I kept my mouth shut. I knew how much cars meant to you and that it was your escape. I KNEW, so don't go off about how I don't know. Why do you think I keep encouraging you to fix up your car? Only to just put you down on it afterwards? No. I love the fact that you love cars, that you dream of fixing up your baby completely. Why do you think that I discourage you to NOT sell your supra? I love that car, and that car make you happy, so don't go to the extreme of selling it. 

You can't simply drop the topic of cars and erase it from your memories. Cars were what brought us together in the first place. 

Babe, I love you. You know I do. You also know that if I had an issue with you, I would tell you. If I didn't, it would bother me so much to the point where I wouldn't be able to bear it. I'd would rather tell you and have you know than to have you completely oblivious and hurt in the end. 

I'm sorry that I said it with a harsh tone. I didn't mean for it to sound that way. What I said, just came out of my mouth, without any thoughts. 
 

I dunno

02/28/2011

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I have nothing to say besides wonder if you're sleeping over tonight. Of course I would love it if you slept over again, but I guess it's not as simple as that is it? 

You got lucky today. If my mind wasn't preoccupied by homework, I would have flooded your phone with unnecessary info on my day. 

Of course, I miss talking to you. Although it's only been less than a day, not talking to you seems unnatural, it seems as if time flies by, by the days. 
 
 
I'll say it here.

My thoughts on you:
You're very much into yourself. I feel as though that you can talk to me about anything, but I can't talk back to you, only because your focus is mainly on yourself. Conversations always turn back to you when the spotlight finally hits me. Don't get me wrong, I love you as a person.. but I just hate that you're always trying to promote yourself in some way, shape or form. What I mean is that you're an attention whore. Some people are like that, but in a good way; they include everyone in their spotlight but keep the laughter and convos going. But you, meh, I don't know. You steal the spotlight and you don't share. You don't talk or try to talk to anyone but your friends. You don't really seem to try and make new friends unless they are introduced to you.

Ont of my bigger pet peeves are people who are nosy. Sorry, but you're a nosy person. You always like to know people's business. I hate that you always butt into a conversation that I'm trying to have with someone else. Leave me alone please. If I wanted you to join a convo, I would have included you. Gahhhh. 

I dunnoo. I feel bad for typing this out, but I had to. You're definitely a nice person; full of life and energy. Maybe I'm wrong about all I said about you. I dunno. But this is my personal opinion. It's not even worth bringing up and talking to you about it. Unnecessary drama. You'll probably just say that I'm jealous and whatnot. But no, I'm not jealous. I'm just annoyed. 
 
 
In the slight chance of you finding this and reading this, I'm going to write you a cheat sheet of things to do to make me feel better. I don't want to post it on tumblr, b/c it's not like people would care anyways. 

1. Chase after me, no matter how long it takes. For you, you might not be the type to chase after me; you're the person who'd let me go and relax and chill, then talk to me. But no. If you truly want me to forgive you right away, chase after me. I might walk away from you, but be persistant. It just truly shows me that you honestly care about myself and my well being. 

2. I've never gotten flowers before. Ever. Get me a flower, or 3 and you'd make me smile and blush so much. As for the type of flower, that's for you to find out. Only one person knows the answer to that. Nonetheless, I've never gotten flowers before, so I'm not too picky. 

3. When I cry, comfort me. You already do that, so kudos to you.

4. When I ask to hang out, just do it. If I didn't want to hang out with you, I wouldn't have made the effort to call you up and to hear your voice just so in return I could hear a "no". It makes me cry a lot when you do that... Just saying. 

5. Surprises. Be at my house when I least expect it. Leave me little notes. Little things like that makes my heart melt. You know it. 

 honestly, just little things like that will make me smile again. I don't want big gifts, I just want your presence. As long as you do the first one, you don't have to worry about the other stuff. I'm a simple person. Keep it simple please <3
 

02/07/2011

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Why do you always do this to me? You always push me away when I'm only trying to help? You truly break my heart sometimes.. yet I still love you.

Gawd. I'm such a sad and depressing girl with so many friggen issues. Why me?
 
 
I'm just being overwhelmed by everything I guess. Mehh..

I made an iron man cake for KJN! It took me 2 days to finish it. So much work, so much mess. I miss baking. I think imma make some cupcakes today or something.

4 months with babe was officially yesterday :D <3 goshh, it feels longer than 4 months.

School's normal. same ol same ol.

I have a CCP partner again. He's a guy this time. Very nice/chill guy. 

Well, besides hanging with friends, I have a bunch of hw I need to finish... blahhh
 

Mann

01/22/2011

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I've been doing hw this entire day! With occasionally getting off track.. hehe. I just need to read for accounting and read for arts. Then I'll be done! yayaya!

This past week has been pretty fun! 
Sunday: Chilled with Babe, Josh, TK, Nikko, Steven F, Brian, Kevin, Darren, Kenny, Vince, Bob, Akash, David, Ashley, Jenny, and Elizabeth on Sunday. We actually didn't really do anything. We were supposed to bowl, but that epically failed... So we just hung outside of Hello Desserts for a long period of time, then we bounced. 

Monday: "helped" out babe with his baby <3. L&L bbq! Nomnom. I stayed there pretty late. I also picked up Bob from his house and brought him over to help out. 

Tuesday: Dinner at Alan's frat house. We had La Vics and Quicklys with Lisa, Babe, Bob, Alan, and Akash. Fun times, fun times. We ended up chilling in his room, watching Youtube videos. OMG Marques Mallare is his friken Frat President! x.x I was pretty surprised when I saw him.

Wednesday: Got to color Babe's Hair! Omg, it looked good until we had to wash it off.. Now his hair looks magenta. He's still cute either way! Had Che. keke

Thursday: Lisa's Farwell Dinner Party! So much fun! I met so many great people! We did a mini photoshoot sesh. Chilled afterwards with, Babe, Lisa, Stephanie, Trish & her bf, Brad, Gabrielle, Lina, Rob, Bob, Erie, Alex, Josh and Jenny. Mountian run afterwards... didn't get home till 3 AM. Thank you everyone who went on the mountain run. You guys are the best and I really appreciate everything you guys have done. forreals.

Friday: Failed Fentons' birthday lunch with Kevy and Jen.. Instead, we went to Fuddruckers which is JUST as friggen delicious. Nom nom! Black Belt prelims afterwards. Got to catch up with Danyelle, Randy and Trevor! Babe came over afterwards. We watched Scary Movie and KO'd. 

Saturday: My mom finally caught Timmy sleeping over. Lol! She came into my room and BAM! There he was, KO'd on my bed as I was doing hw. This whole day consisted of me talking to Stephanie and Erie, as well as doing hw. Mehh, I'm taking a break from HW right now.. supposedly. I'm getting pretty tired though. I guess I'll be sleeping alone tonight. Sad face... 
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This past week has been filled with so much fun. Here's all the randomness that I've done comprised into one massive list:
  • Took cousins to chinese school. Tutored cousins everynight M-Th
  • Photoshoot of city lights and the highway. Met 2 of Timmy's friends. 
  • Got chased off of Sierra by a helicopter.. Yuup, a Helicopter.
  • School
  • Went Ghosthunting. Sadly, there was nothing to see, but on the brightside, Bob, Timmy, Josh, Lisa and I got a nice workout. 
  • Played Clue: The Office and Hello Kitty Monopoly with my bros and cousin
  • Failed laser Tag event. Went to play pool instead, then eat spicy/delicious Korean food, and Went to Sweethearts with Bob, Darren, Kenny, Alex, Vince, Alan and Lisa.
  • Green Hornet with everyone plus Erie, Alex and their 2 friends. 
  • Had Baskin Robbins!
  • More Photoshoots
  • Failed Bowling Event. Loitered outside Mission Lanes, then loitered outside of Hello Desserts with Bob, Darren, Kenny, Akash, David, Elizabeth, Kevin, Jenny, Josh, Steven, TK, Timmy and I. 
  • Watched Shrek 3 and The Fast and the Furious with Babe. 
  • Shopping with Pats and her Sibs. Bought a new leather jacket and other various clothes! Yesh!
There's so much more that I've done, I just can't think of it at the moment. 
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Gahh

01/09/2011

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Every since school has begun, I've been pretty busy. Well.. mostly hanging out with Timmy and friends. Lol! Recaps?

Monday:
-Timmy spent the night and went to school with me. He did his own thing though.
-Stats with Alex N. OMG, Nancy, a girl that I TA'd for in my poli class is in this class. Awkwarddddd.
-Acct1b. I wrote down the wrong class room #.. fail... anyways, Not bad. The teacher is really nice. I talked to 2 new people today. One guy had this teacher last quarter, he said it was a pretty easy class
-Arts 2c. Wrong class room number again... My teacher seems interesting. She reminds me of a hippie though... Lawls
-After 3 hours, I was done for the day. Met up with babe and david and went homeeee. 
-Chipotle for lunch, then shopping. When we finished it was only 2... yeah.
-Went home. Napped. After that, I don't remember what we did.

Tuesday:
-School! Took a bunch of notes and stuff.
-Had my read 211 class. My teacher reminds me of the indian girl from the office! OMG. no joke though. She definitely makes class a lot more interesting
-Bought books and school supplies. 
-Went home. Bought more supplies and stuff.
-Napped, then picked up Timmy's sis from gmall and took her home
-5guys for dinner! Burgers are okay, fries are de-lish. 
-Timmy spent the night again

Wednesday:
-Timmy stayed home. 
-School. Same 'ol, same 'ol.
-Talked to Pats after school for about an hour or so about sctuff.
-Went home around 12ish. Babe was still sleeping.. Lol! Cutiee.
-Went out to shop,  but didn't find anything. F21 and Target!
-I honestly don't remember what we did the rest of that day

Thursday: 
-School
-Came home and waited for babe. 
-Sold books at Half Priced Books. $54? Not baddd. I bought 5 new recipe books, so that killed about $40... lol!
-Harry Potter 7! FINALLYYYYY. <33333 I thought it was a good movie, even though it was just the first part. I can tell that the 2nd part is gonna have hella action in it, since this one didn't have much.
-BAC + T1C. Wingstoppppppp. 
-Mountain run with Josh, Kevin, Nikko, Bob, and a subaru. Funn night. I was exhausted by the end. Didn't get home till 3AM.
-Babe slept overrrr

Friday:
-School. Carpooled with darren, alex, brian and vince. 
-Got home. Napped with Babe. Babe went to work
-Cleaned room and did some hw.
-Auto Show with Bob and Darren! STI STI STI STI! I wantttttttt. <3
-Iguanas for dinner. Yumm, nacho fries.
-Photoshoot with Bob, darren, nikko, babe, josh and alex. Stayed out till about 3am... Meh. 

Saturday: 
-Woke up. Cleaned the bathroom. It's finally clean! Except the tub...
-Did hw and clean my room. 
-Sewed some PJ's and started watching Fringe. 
-Photoshoot with Bob, Erie, Alex, Nikko, TK and Babe in Los Gatos. 
-We only stayed for about an hour or so. 
-Went home. Babe spent the night. We had ramen for dinner. Nom nom.

Sunday: 
-Woke up lateeee, rushed to get ready and pick up Brandon and Nicole to go to Chinese school. They ended up being late b/c Nicole forgot her backpack.
-Read for accouting. Went to get some crazy bread from babe. Thanks babe <3
-Took the children home. Now I'm here partially doing hw, blogging and falling asleep. I think I'll take a nap now. Good nights.