12/5/2010

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Just because you and your gf aren't together doesn't mean you should rip apart my relationship. Shit dude. Yeah, I'll give you sympathy points, but you never once did that to me. That's why whenever you ask about my relationship, my response now on will be "We're good". You don't need to know any detail in it, only because I'm tired of hearing you shit talk my bf. 

We're supposed to be close. But I just feel so distant. When I try to talk to you, I feel as though you're putting me down with your harsh words. I ignore it, but you can only ignore stuff for so long. I don't feel like I can talk to you. Your judgement towards people always clouds mines, and I have a knack for clouded judgement. You're my friend and I'll always be there for you, but I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to talk about people. I feel like that's all we ever do. Talk about people. It's driving me insane knowing that 90% of the time, it's not always good things. I honestly can't stand it. I'm trying to be a better person, but talking to you, it's just dragging me back down that path. Either you start it, I start it, or someone else starts it. 

I don't know what to do anymore. You're a good person, with a good heart. I know that. But you're just too negative sometimes that I can't stand it. I can't be a positive person around you because you'll rip me to shreds. And of course, going back to this infamous issue.. I know you don't intentionally do it. But I feel brainless talking, or even hanging out, with you. It's just.. your tone of voice. It's not friendly, it's more degrading than anything. When I boost my confidence up by 1, you lower it by 2. You always managed to do that. 

I don't know if you notice it, but we all change our behavior according to how your mood is. Subliminally, we all act according to whatever your mood intends to be. 

There's just so much more I want to say, but I can't. You're my friend, and I know you'd care if I told you this. But I can't do it. Let's face it. I'm afraid of you. You. Oppress. Me. 



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