You say all this crap to your bestie. You think it's okay to just throw words around. You don't expect any consequences because "you do it all the time" but what about how I feel? You say its "normal" that you guys talk that way, but do I go around talking to my best friends telling them that I want a naked butt massage or I want sex now? No. What kind of fkn friendship is that? That's the only reason why I question your friendship with her. A REGULAR friendship isn't like that, unless it's more. 

You don't even TALK to me about your friendship or your problems with her. I ask and I try to push it out of you, but you don't say anything. You keep things a secret. How does that make me feel? Why do you think I go and jump into conclusions like this?

I just want it to stop. Not the friendship, but the way you're talking to her. It doesn't make me feel safe. It makes me just wanna cry and hurt myself. Why can't you guys just have normal conversations? Ughh... 

and I feel like you're using Disneyland as leverage and blackmail against me. I can't complain or make a big deal out of you chilling with your ex or with your bestie because you're taking me to disneyland for our 1 year.. 

Iono, too many emotions right now. I can't think. I'm just more upset than anything. :T
I'm so stoked for Great America. Ladies day out, and when I say ladies, I mean Steph, Jenny, Marie and I. We're all gonna meet at my place at 9:30 and venture out to the great unknown :]. I haven't been there in ages! I really want to go get those bracelets and ride roller coasters. I'm so friggen excited!

I'm also extremely GLAD that a certain someone isn't going/wasn't invited. It would've thrown the buddy system off anyways. Plus, it's not like she'll go on roller coasters, so that'll r
With all this drama happening nowadays, it makes me want to stray away from the group, do my own thing, hang out with different people. Honestly, the level you brought it up to was uncalled for and extremely ridiculous. Let's recap.

[These are some things that happened as of Monday, Aug. 29]

The Sunday before, we all gathered to my house to watch a movie, Tangled, to be more specific. Nikko, Jenny, Chris, Tim, Brian, Stephanie, Tk and Erie joined us in this tiny and last minute get together. After the movie, Marie (Chris' gf at that time) called us and wanted to watch a theatre movie the day after. We all decided on going after 3, but Erie made a statement of "I have work, I can't go out till after 7:30" So, I looked up the movie times and found a 7:40 movie time; perfect for her and TK to make it as well as giving Marie a good time frame to hang out with us b/c her curfew was at 10. We all came to the consensus of going to the movies at 7:40 but having dinner beforehand at Texas Roadhouse. 

When Monday came and 5 o'clock came around, Timmy, Nikko and I headed out to Texas Roadhouse. We saw TK on the freeway, which he made eye contact with and acknowledged our presence. We sped off and met up with Chris and Marie. Dinner was great, we ordered togo and ate like hobos on the sidewalk. Bonding time at it's greatest. Nikko decided to call up TK to remind him of the movie plans. TK answered with a "maybe I'll go" which frustrated me and made me take the phone from Nikko to lecture him on why he should go:

"We changed the time so you AND erie can make it. You HAVE to come." That was basically what I was saying to him. He obviously didn't understand what I meant and was a loss at words and responded back "Uhh.. erie's not off work yet..." Dumbass. Obviously! I was just saying that they HAVE to come, b/c seriously? We could've seen the movie earlier, grabbed dinner WITH EVERYONE, then probably had extra downtime to chill. Long story short, we watched the movie and they didn't even BOTHER showing up or contacting us. Fucking selfish bitches. 

On Wednesday, we planned a last minute bowling event to which Bob, Nikko, Chris, Steph, Bri, Jenny, Timmy and I went to. We invited the infamous couple, yet did they bother on letting us know they weren't going to show? Nope. 

On Thursday, I preplanned a double date dinner with Bri and Jenny at Blackbear Diner, a new restaurant that recently opened. We were celebrating the fact that Timmy and I went 1 whole month without eating meat (I already failed on the first day) by eating meat on the first of September. Some events happened before which caused Nikko and Tim to aid Timmy, so Timmy ended up inviting those 2. While we were seated, Erie calls up Tim and asks for his location. He tells her that he's with Nikko at BlackBear diner, but there's no point in coming since it's closed. So she agrees to meet them at Nikko's, but in the end, they both decide to be fucking stalkers and creepy and go to blackbear diner instead. Our booth was right next to the window, right next to the parking lots and next thing we knew, tk and erie were in their car, outside of our window, watching us... wtf. 

Erie is infuriated, and calls back tim and yells at him. Wrong move. She sends timmy 100 texts messages saying what a bad cousin he is, he's a liar, he's selfish, and other lies and nonsense. Fucking stupid ass move, since I feel like everything she's saying to him can EASILY be applied to herself. Last idiotic move she did was post it on tumblr. Everything she said was complete and utter bullshit. Here's why:

We don't invite you to shit? Bull, we ALWAYS invite you guys to stuff, you never bother to show up or to let us know. We're LIARS? Fuck that, everything you tell me AND to other people are complete lies, I can never trust you. Timmy is selfish? Uhh.. HELLO BITCH!? without timmy, YOU AND TK would have NEVER happened. You wouldn't have a place to stay either. TIMMY plans shit FOR the group. Have YOU ever bothered to do anything like that? Uhmmm NO. You didn't even do shit for TK's birthday. Do you know how difficult it is to plan stuff? Why don't you try it, then have someone yell at you for being completely selfish. 

BTW, you're end paragraph on your realization/motivation was sloppy. I applaude you for attempting, but it made no sense at all. I felt as though my baby cousin wrote that since there were numerous gramatical errors, spelling errors, and just things that hindered my thoughts further.

"if you're fucked up, then you're fucked up"

I guess I'm a fucked up person, but guess what? You are too, so don't go pointing your fingers around at anybody else but at yourself, bec one day, sometime's gonna take a fucking scissor and chop that shit off.

/being fucked up
You go and you put yourself out there, how depressed and shit you really are. You complain about being lonely and about people flaking on you too many times to remember. 

How ironic is it that when you're in need, crying, and feeling lonely, I'm the one to text you to make sure you're okay. 

Don't even give me that stupid "I don't want to bother people about my problems" shit, if you didn't want people to care, why would you put yourself out there in the first place? 

I hate how you complain about your friends all ditching you and not contacting you back when you and I made lunch plans and YOU said to me that you'll get back to me, when in reality, you never did. I honestly wouldn't be caring, I wouldn't have given a shit if you stood me up, but it's just so annoying and hypocritical of you to complain about that stuff when you did it back to me. 

Ughh, honestly, why do I try to be your friend, to make you feel better, to be there for you when no one's not if you're just gonna forget about me and give me some stupid ass excuses. When I'm sad, you don't even try to push it out of me. You just want to get that self satisfaction that you "tried" to help me by asking me if I'm okay. 

I push it out of you, I push it out of a lot of people, why don't a lot of people do that for me? 
For a while now, I've been thinking about my past, my present, and my future with you. 

I'm scared to tell you this because I'm scared that you'll turn me down, you'll be scared, you'll run away. So this is why I'm posting it on Weebly, so.. whenever you see it, you see it, because I'm not strong enough to tell you. 

I know we're still young and we haven't hit our one year yet. This might be crazy to admit, but honestly, I want to marry you. I love who you are no matter what crazy past you had. That's not going to scare me away. I can't picture myself loving anyone else besides you. I can't picture us breaking up, and I definitely hope not. I'm going to marry you, unless something, or one, comes in the way. You have honestly been the best thing in my life. I trust you with all my heart to tell you things that maybe you shouldn't know about, but that's because I trust that you wont use that information against. You have a beautiful and kind heart, you're understanding, and you're loving. I know whatever problems come in our way, we deal with it one way or another. 

So Timmy Tang, whenever you read this, I want you to know that I'm determined to marry you. I want a big reception. I want to have a big, white, thousand dollar Vera Wang dress that I'm only going to wear once. I want you to sing my favorite love song to me. I want to live in a nice, beautiful house with you and have little Jemmy's running around. I want to know that when we're 30, 40, 50, to 80, we're still happy and in love and  that we never run out of things to talk about. I want to grow old with you, sit on rocking chairs and just take care of our grandchildren.

Yeah.. I know I'm weird.. I'm sorry :T But that's the future I've always wanted and with you it just seems perfect. 

<3 Banhmiiii
  • 8 months with babe officially as of May 30th. We spent the day going around pet stores and looking at pets. 
  • Got a pet cat together :] The story behind him was that we went to the Milpitas Humane Society to look at cats. We saw these 2 cute minxs and we were about to buy one for 175. But Timmy looked on craigslist and found someone who was selling for 10. When he called, the guy said he already sold his kitten, but he knows a lady that is giving hers away for free. The lady later on contacted Timmy and we headed out to retrieve him. The lady lived in the mobile home area and could only have 1 pet, but she ended up having 3 cats and 1 kitten. It was too much for her and as a cat lover, she just wanted the kitten to go away to someone that would care for him. In the end, we took him and gave him a new home :]
  • Mistook Simba as a girl. He was previously named Bella, then to Nala. But when we took him to the vet, the girl told us that he was a boy... Hella embarassing, so we changed his name to Simba :3
  • I now work at WC Milpitas as a front desk! I don't really do much... 
  • De Anza is almost over! But summer quarter RIGHT after we finish.. bleh... I'm taking Speech 10. 
I love my boyfriend.. and I love Simba :] <33