...and that's what I hate

You say all this crap to your bestie. You think it's okay to just throw words around. You don't expect any consequences because "you do it all the time" but what about how I feel? You say its "normal" that you guys talk that way, but do I go around talking to my best friends telling them that I want a naked butt massage or I want sex now? No. What kind of fkn friendship is that? That's the only reason why I question your friendship with her. A REGULAR friendship isn't like that, unless it's more. 

You don't even TALK to me about your friendship or your problems with her. I ask and I try to push it out of you, but you don't say anything. You keep things a secret. How does that make me feel? Why do you think I go and jump into conclusions like this?

I just want it to stop. Not the friendship, but the way you're talking to her. It doesn't make me feel safe. It makes me just wanna cry and hurt myself. Why can't you guys just have normal conversations? Ughh... 

and I feel like you're using Disneyland as leverage and blackmail against me. I can't complain or make a big deal out of you chilling with your ex or with your bestie because you're taking me to disneyland for our 1 year.. 

Iono, too many emotions right now. I can't think. I'm just more upset than anything. :T