What are friends? People who back stab you and talk shit about you behind your back? No. Friends. Real friends are the ones that have your back and don't say shit about you to anybody. I know everyone does it, talk crap and everything, we're human and its inevitable.
What I can't possibly get out of my head is "why". Why talk shit about me? I did nothing wrong but try and make some new friends. Is that wrong? I'm sorry that my bold personality has allowed you to feel threatened in anyway. I don't mean to talk jokingly with other guys as if I'm hitting on them or even FLIRTING with them. I've been comfortable with them like how I am to anybody; Guy or Girls. I don't mean to make THAT GUY that you like fall for me. I can't control other people's feelings, they choose to feel what they feel and if they like me, then it's inevitable for me. I don't mean to lead people on with my personality, it's just harmless chatting for me and honestly if you were my real friends, you would've seen past YOUR thoughts and realized that there was no intentions to anything. You should know that I look down on COCK BLOCKERS, I don't like them so why would I be them? It all comes to one conclusion; Jealousy
I'm starting to second guess my friendship with you guys. I've done so much for you guys and this is how you repay me? Wow. Some friends you are. I expected so much better from you guys especially if you don't like drama. If you don't like it so much, why be apart of it? I cherish my friendship with you guys the most. Do you know why? Besides Kim, you guys are basically my only other girlfriends that I can tell my shit to. My friends from school are only friends but you guys, I consider you guys my best friends. But seriously? If this is what best friends do then I don't want to have any best friends. Maybe I shouldn't have any friends at all.
I know that you were only out to look out for him, but seriously? Telling him shitty lies about me? Wow. Unbelievable. If you were honestly mature enough and wanted to get away from the drama, you would've told him something different.
I know that at the lake when you ladies had your little chatting circle, you guys were talking about me. It's no doubt you were, I don't need any proof but what I feel. I felt that you guys were hella talking shit about me and you know what? Fine. Go ahead, just remember that I KNOW everything and that Karma's a Bitch.
No, I did not lead him on, or any of the guys. I can't help it if they like me, I'm not gonna change who I am nor will I be fake. He already knows that I'm at the point where I'm not here to impress anyone, for once, I am comfortable in my own skin. It really makes me happy being me and being so comfortable with people that I can joke around with them. But honestly, I only see it as jealousy. If you were so jealous and so frightened, why invite me in the first place? Why bother? I would have totally accepted it because I'm not the type to be butt hurt about non invitations.
So what's said is said. I wish to put it in the past. I just want you to know that I don't go up to people telling them my shit and my problems, they come up to me to check up on me because that's what friends are for. I live by many mottos; "Get sad, Get mad. Get over it." , "leave your baggage at the door." , "the past is the past." etc.
Honestly, since this is in the past, I'm this close to putting our friendship in the past. I don't like dealing with shit like this, and if you know me enough to care, you know that I'd rather walk away from drama especially if it's THIS ridiculous. I wouldn't be ranting about this if I didn't care, but I do care. I built this wall up, but now it's been torn down. I feel as if I can trust no one. I feel like the world has walked out on me when I needed someone the most and that's the shittiest feeling ever. When you feel as if you lost trust in everybody, expecially your best friends.
-Banhzaii
P.S - Thanks to Hieu, Kenny, Darren, and Kevin Anthony for sticking with me through thick and thin. And to Axell for always loving me and protecting me. I couldn't have asked for a tighter, more loving and caring group of people.
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Today I was out of it, mostly because I was tired. So I do the usual as I wake up then do some laundry while watching Grey's season 4 and making friendship bracelets. I'm getting better at it! Then at 11:30 AM I decide to go to my dad's shop to help him out and stuff. Then when I finished, I picked up Jen, drove her brother to their Milpitas house, then headed over to Allyson's place. We got the windows done! We didn't do much there. Just windows and some closet. I also picked up Dee from Jen's house and we went to the Great Mall to collect more boxes. The boxes were larger this time so we were able to fit 3 large boxes in my car. So hazardous. Oh well. When we came back, more cleaning plus looking for Sapphire. I hope she didn't run away. So, I got home around 5 PM and started watching Grey's and making friendship bracelets. This season IS pretty boring. Then Hieu called me and wanted to come over but I didn't want company over. Sorry Hieu. Wilson Yu: you're one of the funniest people ive ever met Haha.. Thanks cousin...? Mylifeisaverage.com " Today, as I was biking home, I high fived all the tall weeds along the side of the road, pretending that I had just won the Tour de France and they were cheering fans. It made the bike ride seem more exciting. MLIA " Best Book Place Ever! Half Priced Books
 So today, Kenny called to wake me up so we can go jogging. I did the usual then headed off to the track to jog. When I got there, Kenny was stalking me in his car! Creeper. Anyways, we were at the track for the longest time ever. We saw Hieu and Steven and Allyson, who came late. So we were sitting there and sitting there, till it was almost 10 AM and Wilson hadn't arrived yet. So then I decided to just continue running without him. So Kenny, Allyson and I both started running on our own. Allyson ran one lap. It's alright Allyson, your body isn't used to the physical fitness. Wait till Marching Band! Anyways, as I was running, I kept thinking OMG I HATE RUNNING my legs were sore and I was out of shape, but that didn't stop me. I kept reminding myself that I need to get back into shape. I can't stop because I never did stop to begin with. So, with that mindset, I made it to the finish line. Probably not as fast as I would hope, but I made it and I'm proud. I plan to run at least 3 days a week. Ok, I'm gonna skip some things.. uhh, Steven wrapped my tennis racket, I went to Jamba, saw Jen and the guys... Anyways. Wow.. Look what Daniel said... Daniel Nguyen: it's still hard for me to picture you angry Daniel Nguyen: my idea of you being angry right now would be you singing at me Haha, He is so wrong...  My mom woke me up today around 8 AM to wait for the repair man to leave. I didn't even have to wake up, he left before she did. Wow. Anyways, I just downloaded music and stuff. Oh, I bought The Fray and Jack's Mannequin Concert tickets today! I'm gonna go with Kenny and Darren also!  At 10:30 AM I went to school, I had to drive back home to get Steven's jacket for him because he keeps telling me to give it back. So I finally did. I also went to school to give out Choco Chip Muffins. Yum. Jen and the guys seemed to really like it. So I hope it tastes really good. I wish it was fluffier. So I drove Wilson and Steven home today and ended up going home. I finished re burning Kenny's CD and decorating the CD and it's case and stuff. Hecka cute. Around 1 PM, I took a really long nap, I had nothing else to do. Then at 5 PM, I headed off to work. Work was easy and fun today. I gave some of my muffins to Allan Dale. Shelby went home sick today so Allan Dale let me hang with him just in case the phone rang. It only rang once surprisingly. It was a good day though, I only taught the adult class, Cosmo and Malcolm. We did sticks. I left work when black belt class started because I was going to go play Munchkin at his house but he didn't come home till late so I just chilled at Kenny's house. OMG he didn't pick up his phone so I was unsure of coming over. Jerk. So I went over to his house anyways and he was there! We went to his room, chatted a little, then made a list of things he needs for his dorm. I wish I could remodel his room but they might sell the house. So yea. Sad.  Around 10 PM I picked up Hieu and headed off to Eugene's house. We met Perry and played Munchkin. Eugene's sister tried feeding us this spiked drink. She thought it was apple cider. LOL. It was 12% alcohol. Eugene and his sister seemed to really like it. So we played Munchkin till 11 PM then my mom called and we played Munchkin Warped Speed. I was winning but they all used their cards on me so then Perry ended up winning. Darn. It's alright though. Jen called me today, I guess I'm driving people to the campsite. Yay! Funness. I'll get gas money too! Anyways, I'm off now. I'm not sleepy but I'm gonna run a mile tomorrow morning. Fun. -Banhzaii Hieu: but yeah my mind is too complex for simple humans Mylifeisaverage.com
" Today, while exiting the bathroom, I tried to turn the lights off three time before I realized it was sunlight. MLIA " So after I finished blogging yesterday, Hieu IMed me and wanted to hang out. We finally agreed on going to the park.  So we just chilled at the park for a little, then Eugene called and decided to come join us. I think we stayed there for about an hour or so, then we sat in Eugene's car for about half and hour then decided to go to Darren's house. So, we're sitting on Darren's driveway and we just talk some more, then we decide to go to Eugene's house to play Munchkin. It's a pretty confusing game, but I got used to it towards the end. Omg, I was hecka scared of Eugene's dog because I heard she bites, so when she came up to me, I guess I smelled like Clover, so we started sniffing me and sitting on me. Then she liked me. Lol. So after that game of Munchkin, I won, we decided to head home, so Eugene drove Hieu and I back to my house where Eugene brought his dog with us. She kept crawling on me! Oh  gosh. So when I got home, Eugene and Hieu decided to go inside, so we chilled inside while watching Malcolm in the Middle. Clover and Precious met for the first time. Lol. It was funny, Clover was sniffing her the whole time, but they didn't fight which was good. Clover kept freaking on her because she kept putting her paw on him or something. Weird dog. So yea, the guys left around 12 AM. Clover was crying when Precious left. Poor him. After, I talked to Kenny on the phone, then went to sleep.  I woke up at 6:30 AM today and got ready to head off to school at 8 AM. So I got ready really fast and decided to go back to sleep for about 20 more minutes. Then I went and picked up Kenny and we headed off to school. At school, Kenny and I waited for Wilson, then we ran a mile. I haven't ran in such a long time, I felt so out of shape. I was heavily breathing after that run, but I feel good, accomplished sorta. So we just chilled at the field for about 2 hours, we also saw Eugene running. After that, we went to the tennis courts and played a little bit of tennis with Hieu. I suck... So when Jen's class was over, Kenny and I went to visit her and the guys. We talked for a little bit, then left. So we went to the track chilled, saw Steven, then left to go to Jamba. Kenny bought me a Power Strawberry Surf Rider. Yum.  So I went home, went grocery shopping for the Choco Chip Muffins and the Red Velvet cake that I'm about to make, right when I got home, Jen called me and asked if i was hanging with them today because I said that I will. So I met up with Jen and the guys at q-cup where we stayed for about an hour and a half. Then I took them all to Allyson's house where Jen and I stayed at to help Allyson clean her room. We made progress! It's a little cleaner now! Yay. I think I got sick from cleaning, her room was really dusty so I started getting allergies and now my nose is red and it hurts and I have a headache. Oh boy... So I baked the Choco chip muffins. Yum! I can't wait to give it to Jen and the Guys. I hope they love it. It's pretty good. I don't think I can help Allyson clean today because I have work, I might still be sick though, iono. But yea, I'm getting sleepy. Night -Banhzaii  Before Kenny Ngo: TYLER SHIRAMIZU COUNTS
Kenny Ngo: because Kenny Ngo: he always wanted to fuck you Kenny Ngo: so thats Kenny Ngo: 1 Kenny Ngo: wowowow wrong window " I always hope for the best. Experience, however, has taught me to expect the worst. " - Garak from DS9 Wilson Yu: oo sex  Today, I woke up to the annoyance of my sister's phone alarm that she put in her bathroom. I forced myself to get out of bed because I absolutely cannot sleep with that racket on. As I went back into bed after completing that mission, I was unable to fall back asleep. My family and I went to Pho today, like always. We also went grocery shopping and then back home. Maggie, Remi's mom, called me and asked me if I wanted to go swimming with Remi, I agreed and then went to her house and headed off to the pool.  When we got there, it was completely empty. We had the pool to ourselves. Kinda, another family of 3 were there also but they left earlier than we did. We swam for about two hours and had a "tricks" competition. It was pretty fun. I tried to make a beard out of the bubbles from the hot tub. Haha. Yeaa.  Afterwards, Remi wanted to get Jamba Juice so then we showered, got changed, then headed out. We both ordered an Original Strawberries Wild. Then we both headed back to my house and now we having a house party. It's alright. I had to go to Kenny's house to put games in this R4. KENNY I want to see your room!! Quel Jerk. Nice house Kenny. After Kenny's I went to the basketball courts to see Wilson and Hieu. Brian, Steven, Jay, Sishey, Andrew, and Linh were there. I think there was more, but I don't remember who else. Oh well. Suprisingly, I'm blogging this in the Daytime. Well not really, more like nightish sorta. It's 7:35 PM right now. YES! I have 25 new songs for Kenny. I hope he likes it! I think I'll make myself a copy for the road. -Banhzaii " Today, Calvin told my brother and cousin about Mylifeisaverage.com. Now they can't stop talking about it. GODDAM YOU CALVIN! " MLIA BUTitsMEEjessica: go wash your leapord boxers
Kenny Ngo: they aren't dirty -_- Kenny Ngo: i haven't worn them in forever I'm waiting till it's 1:30 PM so I can get Allyson, go to Jamba Juice,  then head out to the park to play some tennis with Hieu and Perry. Rawr, Allan Dale called me and asked if I can come in today for work. Tear. I guess I'm just going to write about something random... Like Pet Peeves. According to Dictionary.com: pet peeve –noun a particular and often continual annoyance; personal bugbear What are my Pet Peeves you ask? -One is people who are nosy. Hands down. I don't care if I don't know them very well or if I've known them for forever; I H a t e N o s y P e o p l e. They just get to me, you know? It's like an itch that won't go away. Like for instance, if I'm having this conversation with a friend and some guy randomly pops out of no where and butts in. That stuff ticks me off. Another is if your having a conversation and the guy that pops in asks what you are talking about. First off, butt OUT, and second, None of your business. It also ticks me off when people go through your personal bubble and look through your personal belongings. Stay Out. -I also don't like it when someone asks you for something but is already taking it from you. For example, my friend (no names) the other day, asked me if she can eat my birthday candy. And before I could say "NO", she already went and took my bag of treats like she's expecting me to let her hoard it all away. I mean, even though she asked, she shouldn't have taken it in the first place. She always does that too. -A random pet peeve is toilets. It absolutely MUST be flushed before I use it. If there's pee (or poo) in it, then I'd have to flush it. Or if there's something floating in it; hair, leftover poo, toilet paper, a bug, I can't use it. BLEH. I just feel so gross if the toilet bowl water isn't clean. -Banhzaii Ok, so I'm back from everything. After tennis I went to work. OMG i was so tired. Then I left around 6:15 PM and went to West Coast Cambrian. I met Danyelle for the first time. She's actually really nice. After that, I went to Patty's house, hung out at the pool, then played some Guitar Hero. At the pool, we talked about the person we all don't like, Daniel. Gosh, he just makes me oh so angry. (Oh, there's 2 Daniel's Btw.) But yea. enough of that. I'm gonna have a busy day tomarrow. Good night!
-Banhzaii It's 4 days until my 18th birthday! I'm so excited. This week is full of plans. Hmm.. Today? |  Favorite Sites
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