I know that this cardboard relates to that special someone, but for me, it's my loved ones. Since I'm at the point in my life where I'm not trying to look for anyone, those loved ones are my friends and family.
I'm excited for my date with Wilson today! We're gonna go watch:
She's from Grey's and he's from P.S. I Love You! Yay! Can't wait. One more day till the Paramore and No Doubt Concert with Kristine! Then on Monday through Thursday I'm going to Monterey with Albert, Darren, Wilson, Dinh and Angela. I think Alex and Maggie might go. I'm not sure. But anyways, next Saturday is The Fray and Jack's Mannequin Concert! Yes! I have better hope that my parents will let me go to that one. I casually told my mom about the Paramore concert yesterday when she told me that I had to stay home on that day to take care of my brothers. I was like "What? I'm going to a concert that day." She's was like "Oh, Ok then." Lol. Smooth? Hopefully It'll stay that way.
Weesona? Why do you always go for the girls that don't like you and reject you in the end. This girl might ACTUALLY like you but you don't like her? What's wrong with you?! Oh, well, better to not get your hopes up right? She seems like a nice person but for reals! You're chasing after the "hard to get" kinda girls. I'm hungry.
-Banhzaii
What's said is said and what's done is done. I'm glad that we've come to Rise Above our issues and honestly, it was seriously one BIG misunderstanding. I've learned that the best way to deal with drama and to fix it is to talk to that person, or those people, yourself instead of relying on other people to send the message for you. Words get scrambled and mixed up in the process and it's better to hear and deal with it first hand. I'm seriously glad that we're friends again and I'm really happy for Kirsten, you don't understand. I'm happy that she's happy and I think that's all that matters. I'm so happy that I want to make pancakes in celebration for her!
I think I'm obsessed with blogging. I have to constantly blog now because I feel like there's so much to say! Yet sometimes there's not enough to talk about. LOL.
I want to go to JAPAN! Eugene! Why didn't you take me with you!?! Yum. Japanese people
-Banhzaii
Axell: weirdo...
Me: then we'll never sleep!
Kevin Anthony: Never?
Kenny Ngo: i wish our band name wasn't sukin deek -____-
Eugene: I'll bring back a guy in a luggage thing
Hieu: I'll be sure to check that out then haha
Hieu: devoted fan woo!!
Wilson Cheah:
i wanna sniff your hair
Godly Kenny Ngo: you'd liek
Kenny Ngo: squeeze me
Kenny Ngo: and then my stomach would be pushed in
Kenny Ngo: and i'd barf all over you >=] Gross Much?
Aujourd'hui, J'ai reste a la maison. J'ai dormi beaucoup por trois heures et j'ai travaille a karate. Je suis lave la voiture aussi. Pour diner, j'ai mange riz avec viande. Tres savoureux!
I want to take french again. I wish I paid more attention in class because it's a beautiful yet complex language. Too many things to remember! So yup.
" I love you and don't forget that.<3<3 "
-Kirsten
Yesterday wasn't really special although I did share a nice 3 and a half hour long phone conversation. Everything went swell and I'm glad that we've moved on past our issues although another one popped up. Drama, so inevitable. I woke up pretty late today since I slept at 5 AM. I did the morning routine and immediately messaged Kirsten on Myspace. I apologized to her because I feel like I owe her an apology. After my long message to her, I began my Wednesday Game Plan but I never got to finish it! I only cleaned out my car. As I was cleaning out my car, my sister asked me to take her places so I did. Because of the Monterey Trip next week I also came into work to make it up to Allan Dale. Sorry! I had a nice 15 minute nap before work. I wish I got to sleep more, but it's alright. Work was okay nothing special. Green belt class is still my favorite. After work, Allan Dale came over to have a vegetarian meal and we talked for a little, then he had to go home. My night ended with a 2 hour phone conversation with Axell about the drama and another half hour phone convo with Kenny right after.
I'm trying to "Rise Above" and not worry about the drama. I try not to be mixed into ridiculous drama like this because it's not worth my time. I'm doing my best to put it in the past even if it means me going up to them and talking to them first. I hate drama. I'm glad that Kirsten and I are fine now. We have learned that it's just a big misunderstanding.
-Banhzaii
What are friends? People who back stab you and talk shit about you behind your back? No. Friends. Real friends are the ones that have your back and don't say shit about you to anybody. I know everyone does it, talk crap and everything, we're human and its inevitable.
What I can't possibly get out of my head is "why". Why talk shit about me? I did nothing wrong but try and make some new friends. Is that wrong? I'm sorry that my bold personality has allowed you to feel threatened in anyway. I don't mean to talk jokingly with other guys as if I'm hitting on them or even FLIRTING with them. I've been comfortable with them like how I am to anybody; Guy or Girls. I don't mean to make THAT GUY that you like fall for me. I can't control other people's feelings, they choose to feel what they feel and if they like me, then it's inevitable for me. I don't mean to lead people on with my personality, it's just harmless chatting for me and honestly if you were my real friends, you would've seen past YOUR thoughts and realized that there was no intentions to anything. You should know that I look down on COCK BLOCKERS, I don't like them so why would I be them? It all comes to one conclusion; Jealousy
I'm starting to second guess my friendship with you guys. I've done so much for you guys and this is how you repay me? Wow. Some friends you are. I expected so much better from you guys especially if you don't like drama. If you don't like it so much, why be apart of it? I cherish my friendship with you guys the most. Do you know why? Besides Kim, you guys are basically my only other girlfriends that I can tell my shit to. My friends from school are only friends but you guys, I consider you guys my best friends. But seriously? If this is what best friends do then I don't want to have any best friends. Maybe I shouldn't have any friends at all.
I know that you were only out to look out for him, but seriously? Telling him shitty lies about me? Wow. Unbelievable. If you were honestly mature enough and wanted to get away from the drama, you would've told him something different.
I know that at the lake when you ladies had your little chatting circle, you guys were talking about me. It's no doubt you were, I don't need any proof but what I feel. I felt that you guys were hella talking shit about me and you know what? Fine. Go ahead, just remember that I KNOW everything and that Karma's a Bitch.
No, I did not lead him on, or any of the guys. I can't help it if they like me, I'm not gonna change who I am nor will I be fake. He already knows that I'm at the point where I'm not here to impress anyone, for once, I am comfortable in my own skin. It really makes me happy being me and being so comfortable with people that I can joke around with them. But honestly, I only see it as jealousy. If you were so jealous and so frightened, why invite me in the first place? Why bother? I would have totally accepted it because I'm not the type to be butt hurt about non invitations.
So what's said is said. I wish to put it in the past. I just want you to know that I don't go up to people telling them my shit and my problems, they come up to me to check up on me because that's what friends are for. I live by many mottos; "Get sad, Get mad. Get over it." , "leave your baggage at the door." , "the past is the past." etc.
Honestly, since this is in the past, I'm this close to putting our friendship in the past. I don't like dealing with shit like this, and if you know me enough to care, you know that I'd rather walk away from drama especially if it's THIS ridiculous. I wouldn't be ranting about this if I didn't care, but I do care. I built this wall up, but now it's been torn down. I feel as if I can trust no one. I feel like the world has walked out on me when I needed someone the most and that's the shittiest feeling ever. When you feel as if you lost trust in everybody, expecially your best friends.
-Banhzaii
P.S - Thanks to Hieu, Kenny, Darren, and Kevin Anthony for sticking with me through thick and thin. And to Axell for always loving me and protecting me. I couldn't have asked for a tighter, more loving and caring group of people.
"You can't blame anyone but yourself" That's what I've been craving to tell him when he said that the Black belts were a bunch of IDIOTS. I am well aware of their lack of knowledge of the curriculum only because they have either recently graduated or never have been taught the material. But seriously? Calling black belts idiots especially if you can't teach the material with good technique and everything? That's what got me mad. He teaches these group of students like they're worth nothing. He DARES to call it HIS class when rightfully it's not. He's supposed to be a "role model" to Allan Dale when in fact he isn't a model or a follower. It ticks me off when he SITS there while teaching. You know how much trouble you'll get into if you SIT DOWN while teaching? Let alone mingle with parents? The one thing that he said today besides making fun of the black belts was that as adults class was beginning, he was complaining on how tired he was. I was thinking dude seriously? you only taught ONE class and your friken tired? but I actually said "You're tired? Patrick has been here since 3 teaching so he should be the one tired." And Patrick was like "Yea, I went on a 20 mile bike ride today" and He has JUST the DECENCY to say "I don't care what you do outside of Karate, I've been sitting home drinking a 2 litre and working out my arm. It MUST be working because it seems to get lighter." It just kind of pissed me off that He is complaining about how exhausted he was and how he's so inconsiderate. It gets me so frustrated seeing him getting paid for sitting around, making fun of students, and mingling with parents. First off, I think his way of teaching is so different that it's terrible. He hinders the students instead of helping them. Second, I hate that he dares to call the students his. He can't even teach them correctly. Third, he always sits down, talks boisterously, and walks around as if he's the head honcho. He's a higher ranking belt, yes, but he's not the boss. I feel that he needs to be careful about what he does because it's not that hard to fire him. He's just lucky that Allan Dale has a kind heart and I feel that he's taking advantage of him. He knows that Allan Dale wont yell at him or scold him or whatever, that's why he does the things he do. Seriously though, if he was under my employment (which he isn't), he'd be gone in a second. I don't deal with shit like that. I know I'm always saying that "Oh, he's still a good person and all" but all of his actions revolve around his personality and it makes me dispise him no matter how much I don't want that to happen. Your students are a reflection of yourself, that is what I have learned. No matter how much I don't like working, I still make it to the days I work unless I absolutely cannot go; busy days or vacation, But I have never not gone to work just because I didn't want to show up. He, on the other hand, doesn't go to work just because. Or that's what he told me that day he came to pick up his cupcakes. He said distinctly "I don't want to go to work today, maybe I'll call in." And I felt bad, not for him of course, but to Allan Dale. Like I said, taking advantage.
But anyways, that's my rant of the day. I swear that I'm gonna explode on him one day. I don't care who hears, he needs to seriously learn especially if he's really from the "old school" days. Seriously.
-Banhzaii
I need to Post up 4 Paramore Songs to make up for the days...
So this past weekend I went camping. It was quite an experience with many ups and downs... Literally. I'm thankful to Jen's parents for planning this whole trip that was dedicated to us. Although, I do wish that Jen's friends were more proactive, prepared, and not boring.
I woke up Friday morning at 8 to shower and pack the last of my belongings. I left the house around 9 AM to head over to my Dad's shop to help him one last time for the week. I'm trying to build up those brownie points for that concert this weekend. I just filed his papers, cleaned all of his magazines, and swept the floor. By the time it was 10:30 AM, I had already finished and I left to head out to Jen's house which was about 5 minutes away. Once I arrived I was greeted by her whole crew and we chilled and waited for the rest of her friends to show up. Afterwards, we packed what we could in the cars and waited. It was a super long wait. Kevin, Allyson, and I were hot and bored so we got permission to head out to Yoswirl. Yum. We came back and
 finished loading up my car. We had to leave some things behind because there was no more room, but it's alright. We left around 1:30 PM and headed to Plesanton to pick up Jen from her performance at the Alameda County Fair. When we opened the door to let her in, a burst of hot air rushed in. OMG, so hot. We stopped at the gas station/Wendy's to get Jen's mom some food, then we were on our way. Everything was going swell until Jen's mom missed the exit! Wow. Lol. It's alright, we had Anthony, Kikay's Dad there to guide us because he knew the roads to Merced. So yea. It was a 2 and a half hour drive, but was actually 3 or 4. We got lost a few more times, but ended up going the right way. Jen's mom was freaking out and never wanted to go back to this place. Once we arrived a gush of hot air surrounded us. It was bad and we were all sweating. We had to unload the car and pitch the tent. The guys; Frank, Axell, Alex, Chester, Kevin, and Mark stayed in this massive tent and they took theirs out to set it up before us but Allyson, Jen and I finished before them with our small Mini tent. We set up so its all nice and cozy. we all brought tons of blankets so we layed that all on the ground so its cushiony and soft instead of rocky and hard. So yea. After, we just chilled and stuff, I
 pulled out my Scattergories for them to play. It was hecka fun! Yay Scattergories. By the time it got dark, we pulled out the s'mores but Jen's friends were all. BLEH. and didn't make any. Lazy. That's one thing I don't like about them. If they're bored, they show it, they have to literally have someone there to entertain them. I felt bad because Jen's parents worked so hard for us to enjoy ourselves. Anyways, Jen, Allyson and I went into our tent to talk and then Jen left us so Allyson and I just talked some more. Then Jen called and told us to go down to the docks to look at the stars so we left, but we got hecka lost and had to stop and ask for directions. While we were walking, we saw Anthony and he took us down to the docks. He's hecka nice and informative, kinda reminds me of Cosmo. At the docks, the stars looked hecka nice and pretty. It was so peaceful. We stayed there for about an hour then we headed back to the campsite. We just hung out a little bit more and I fell asleep. I missed Darren, Kenny and Wilson.
 The next morning, I was awakened by the annoyance of the guy's tent music. They hecka blasted it. Not Funny. We woke up around 7 AM and got changed and ready and everything. We had eggs for breakfast. Yum. I felt bad because Jen's mom hecka tried to make us a nice breakfast and no one bothered to help her or eat it, so Erik, Dee and I had some. It wasn't that bad. The Morning started off slow and hot, but once we got changed, we headed off to the lake and the fun really started. We started off by loading the boat and everything and finding a spot. Jen's dad had to do 2 trips because there were too many people. So Allyson, Rochelle and I pitched the canopy while Jen's mom was taking a break and relieving her stress. We did well for 3 girls and mighty wind. After that, We immediately jumped into the lake for refreshment. Then the rest of the gang came and joined us in the lake. It was nice and fun. I'm glad
 I brought my water guns, it was put to good use. Jen's dad had to go back to get the hose for the grill so the guys; Axell, Alex, Frank, Chester and I went back to camp to retrieve it. I also had to get my first aid kit because too many of them were bleeding all over the place. So clumsy. So when we got back to the lake spot we went tubing. It was so fun! At first I didn't go with them, but they came back because the tube broke; good thing they had 2 with them. The second time I went with them and Jen and I decided to go first because they wanted a "pro" (Jen) to go first. It was amazing! We went on for a good 2 minutes. Jen and I couldn't stop screaming. It was really scary yet super thrilling. After our turn, Chester and Dee went but something was wrong and they kept sinking. Then Frank and Alex went but they kept sinking too. So Jen and Kirsten went and they sank again. No one was able to make it work afterwards, until Kirsten and I went. It was crazy. We went on for a long time but Jen's dad made a sharp turn and Kirsten flew off and skidded on her butt while I flew off and did a somersault into the water. The guys said that I looked like a rock skipping because my life vest made me skip off of the water. It was so fun flying off though. No lie. Kirsten and I were like "Yea!" and High Fived each other. Everyone was like "Dude Jessica! You're a good luck charm! Go tubing with me!" Lol. Funny. So we went back and chilled some more and then we transferred places. We were gonna stop in the middle of the lake, but Jen's uncle had to take the boat back and it stopped on them so we were then stranded on an island with white people and their annoying music. Jen's dad had to do 2 trips to get back onto the docks so the people left stranded on the island were Jen, Allyson, Kirsten, Mark, Alex,
 Frank, Chester, and Jen's cousin Jordan. The rocks were painful! Jen, Allyson and I got bored so we made face paint. Hecka funny. We looked silly. Jen's father picked us up after what felt like forever and once we got back on the docks, we were immediately given ice cream. YUM. I feel special. When we came back we just chilled/ate/slept/showered/played etc. For dinner we had rice and korean BBQ. So yummy. By the time night fell, Allyson, Jen and I headed to the showers. It feels so good to be clean. Then we went over to the docks to do more star gazing. We also told some scary stories. Anthony told some really good stories, but it revolved around God and Christianity/Catholicism and I'm Buddhist so it was wierd for me. I was super tired and cold at the docks, but it was really nice. When we were walking back, it was hecka dark and I was super tired so I couldn't walk straight. I'm glad Axell was there to accompany me. Lol.
 The next morning, Jen's mom made us Omlettes! I woke up around 8 AM and had some. It was delicious! She put hecka Mushrooms on it! This was our last day so we had to pack everything up before we hit the lakes. Jen, Allyson and I finished hecka quickly and chucked everything in my trunk. It took a while for everyone to finish packing and cleaning but I think we hit the waters by 12? A group of us went before the rest so we got really hot and so we automatically jumped into the water. When the rest of the group arrived, they left us to go on the boat first, we were gonna be second. So we got out of the water and waited. It was a pretty long wait but Jen's dad finally arrived, the rest of her family were there also and they brought tons more water and ice cream for us. So yea, we went to a pretty good spot, locks of rocks, but it was alright. Dee, Kikay and Erik found frogs! Some were small but Dee's was hecka big! I got tired of swimming so I went back on land with the rest of the guys. Jen's dad took the people who haven't gone tubing yet, tubing. They went to fill up gas first but then we saw them flying by. The tube worked! First was Jen and Dee, they were going really good until Dee flew off, but Jen kept going because you can hear her scream. LMAO. So yea. After that, another 2 tried to tube but it didn't work for them. But anyways, Jen's dad had to come back b/c he was hecka cramping up. Oh dear. It was alright though, I had good convos with Axell and Kevin. I felt like the ladies were talking about me. Is it because I'm hecka talking to Frank or something? Iono, he's a nice person. Honestly, he is. So yea, we didn't go tubing after that, I wish everyone had a chance to but it was already past 5 when we left. So yea, we left, packed up and headed home. We stopped by Taco Bell
 and had our last dinner. After Taco Bell, I drove home for about an hour. Its good practice! I've never driven past Fremont before, so it was hecka different. But yea, after an hour, Jen's mom and I switched places and she drove the rest of the way home. When we got back home, we immediately took all the stuff out of my car. and just hung out for a little. It was 10 PM by the time we arrived home. Jen's dad scared us by firing fireworks. Lol. I drove Allyson and Kevin home and I headed home myself. I was gonna go to Darren's house because I didn't know if they were gonna rockband or not, but I ended up just going home, showering, and then falling asleep. Bed. <3
-Banhzaii
Kenny Ngo: no my butt is huge and sexy =]
Axell: yes yes I'm a jerk
Today was quite an unproductive day for me. I didn't do much, just stayed home and slept. I was still pretty exhausted from the weekend so I took an extra 5 hours of sleep. Albert asked if I wanted to go to Monteray for 3 day and 2 nights with him. I asked my dad and he got HECKA mad! He says I go out to much. I don't disagree with him but I'm just trying to make the best of what I have. In the end my dad let me go. I'm scared to remind him of the concerts now... Anyways, I had a really good convo with Albert that lasted till 2 in the morning. Lol. It's nice talking to him, this is the first good convo I've had with him ever! But yea, I'm excited for Monteray. Paramore concert this Saturday! I think I'll ask my mom if I can go... Scared. I'm trying to lay low below the radar. I'm gonna help clean and everything and not go out except for work. I hope my plan works out for me.
-Banhzaii
My Heart
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
(It beats, beats for only you)
My heart is yours
(My heart is yours)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is yours
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is yours
(Please don't go, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is...
By Paramore
Since I didn't get a chance to talk about my Thursday day/night, I'll talk about it.
So after I wrote that blog, I talked to Patty and she said that We were still making the cake. So I immediately started baking and I left around 12 to get to her house. She messed up on the ice cream, but it was alright because we started that over. Then we went out to buy some ingredients for the frosting and fondant. When we came back, I immediately started the fondant. Diane and Bianca were amazed by it. While making fondant, Patty and Daniel started putting the cake together. They failed so their grandma had to help them. She's so pro, I'm gonna hire her. Lol. So yea, keep in mind that after this part, we had to constantly take the cake out and put it back into the freezer, it kept melting. After the fondant making, Diane and Bianca started to knead it so it wouldn't get sticky and I just began the frosting. Yum. So Patty, Daniel and I frosted and shaped the cake while Diane and Bianca started to roll out the fondant. We got it to a really good size, so we then put the fondant on the cake. Daniel had to go to work, so after that we just chilled at the pool for a little. Then we went back to the house and played Scattergories while Daniel came back home. After, we had some dinner and started on the other pieces. We agreed earlier on a Black
 Belt top for him so I did the red food coloring, Patty did the blue, Bianca did his cake logo, and Diane and Daniel did the belt. We didn't have black food coloring at that time. So after putting together the top half of the cake, I had to take Patty and Daniel out to buy black food coloring. We got tired of the kiddos so we went out to Long Drugs to chill for a little. Then we we we went back to the house and Diane and Daniel had to restart the belt. I started making his name and stripe out of yellow fondant. It was fun. I'm glad about the result of the name. so we had to assemble it super fast, we put the belt and everything on, then I put the name and stripe on it. His name is Markie G. While we waited for it to freeze, Diane, Bianca and I had a competition to see who can write his name nicer in cursive and with the piping bag. I won! So I piped on his name and we finished it off with Bianca's icing border. Teamwork! Yeayuhh. Haha.
Yum doesn't it look good? You can't tell we messed up. So Beautiful, so pro. Lol. So yea, while the cake was in the final touches, Patty's dad allowed me to sleep over. I heard that's rare! It was because we ended around 1 in the morning. So yea, I left around 1:30 AM. After, I just went home and fell asleep. He better like the cake. I would've been mad if he didn't. This is one of my best creations. Probably because I got some help to go with it.
-Banhzaii
|
RSS Feed