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For Darren

     De Anza was boring as usual. After, I went to Blake's pad and we played Halo ODST until Sky woke up. I got motion sickness so I had to stop. The guys stopped playing a few minutes after. Blake made us some delish pancakes. It was super filling though, no lie. We just chilled, then Blake and Sky had to go to work so I ended up leaving. I got back in Milpitas, filled up gas, then went to Wilson Yu's place to pick up my orders. I still need my black jacket! Rawr. It's cool though. Let's see... I took Wilson to the new Quickly's. The burnt my thai tea and they didn't sweeten his green tea. He's such a bitch! He told the lady and she fixed it for him, but then the lady bitched at the girl who made the drink. I felt so bad for her. LOL. Then we went to school and I chilled with some bandies. Funfun. Rockband tonight!! Hell yea!I need to clean my room!
     Oh! Before I forget, I finally found someone who has the same odd music interest as me. Blake! I was looking through his Ipod (he let me) and he has A LOT of similar songs like me. Shocking! Okay, that's all I wanted to say...
     -Banhzaii
 
 
     The more I think about it, the more I wish it was real. I want everything to go as planned; I talk to him online, I find him at school, and we live happily ever after. But really? How often does "happy ever after" come? I wish I could talk to him. I wish he could just finally go on Myspace and add me. Lol. I wish I could be his knight in shining armor and save him like last time, but this time I'll introduce myself. This is weird. Me liking a guy I hardly know. Could it be his masterful skill of being a chef that draws me to him? All I could do right now is just stand afar and admire him, hoping that my "one day" will come.
     For the past 2 night, I've been having dreams of him. Well, more of me looking for him. The first one was when I was singing "Ordinary People" by Asher Book. Instead of him coming, Asher comes out of nowhere and sings with me. Of course I'm happy, but I'm not satisfied. Instead I am looking around as I sing, hoping that he is there. But he's not. The second one was when I'm in a certain type of building. I don't want to explain because you guys will just be confused. I see that Kevin guy from orientation and he gives me a kiss. It's weird I know. But at that second, we both love each other. But, when we depart I question myself. I ask myself why I am doing this. I like another person and that person isn't Kevin. Instead, I look out windows hoping to see him in his car, but he isn't.
    What is that supposed to mean? Looking for someone who isn't there? All I could say is 2 more days! My only fear of everything is:
1) He is actually gay, which would suck in my part but could be useful in the long run.
2) He falls for that Caitlyn girl. I would really be jealous though.
     I sound like a creepy stalker. I admire a guy who probably doesn't know I exist. Ahh well... That's life. 2 more days!
     On the bright side, I cleaned my sister's filthy room. It's really clean now. I also have a master plan on how I want my room to look like if I remodeled it. I kinda cleaned my room today, but then I stopped, like how I always do. Instead, I watched 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. I also picked up Jen from the mall and we went to Banana Republic to see Axell. I betcha one of the workers thinks we're weird. We were running around, peering behind corners and hiding behind manniquins. Lol. After that, we go to the Angel Pix place and take more pictures! Then I drive Jen home. Now I'm at home. Starving. I think Axell's mom wanted me to come over to have some food, but I'm not gonna go if Axell's not at home! That's weird! I guess his mom doesn't hate me anymore. Yay!
     -Banhzaii
 
 

Try

If I walk would you run?
If I stop would you come?
If I say you’re the one would you believe me?
If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say, so you don’t leave me

The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dreams,
It's time for us to make a move
'Cuz we are asking one another to change,
And maybe I'm not ready but I'll

Try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We’ve been hiding enough

If I sing you a song
Would you sing along?
Or wait till I'm gone?
Oh how we push and pull
If I give you my heart would you just play the part,
Or tell me it’s the start, of something beautiful

Am I catching up to you,
While your running away to chase your dreams,
It's time for us to face the truth
'Cuz we’re coming to each other to change,
And maybe I'm not ready but I'll

Try for your love,
I can hide up above,
I will try for your love,
We've been hiding enough

Try for your love,
I can hide up above,
I will try for your love,
We've been hiding enough


If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one, would you believe me?

By Asher Book
 
 
     This morning, Darren and I hit every possible Bay Area Traffic... We left Milpitas around 7:30 AM. We headed off to Costco to get some gas. After getting gas, we decided to continue on 680 to go to school. It was a nice smooth ride until we hit traffic. It was seriously Stop and Go traffic. So annoying. After about half an hour, we finally made it to 880 Oakland. We took that exit. We were seconds away from hitting the 880 traffic, but good thing I spotted the Steven's Creek exit. That exit redirected us to Valley Fair and Santana Row. If only we didn't have class. By then, it was 8 AM and I had half an hour to go to class. We weren't sure which way to go so I called up Patty and she told us to make a U-turn, but she wasn't sure so she said she'll call us back. We made that U-turn, but then hit Falafel's Drive In so we decided that it was the wrong way, so we made another U-turn and kept driving down Steven's Creek. We finally made it to De Anza. Of course, I was 20 minutes late for class. I'm glad we didn't get lost or anything though. That is the LAST time any of us will take 680 to 280 to 880 to De Anza...
     In the meantime, I'm chilling in the library. Kevin gave me the Fame Soundtrack so I'm listening to it right now. I'm absolutely in love with Asher Book's voice.
     -Banhzaii
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Asher Book