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03/04/2012

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You don't even try to comfort me anymore. I'm sitting there, crying . You don't even ask me what's wrong. You tell ME to kiss you, why don't YOU kiss me? All night I was waiting for you to cuddle with me, but you didn't. When I wanted to cuddle with you, you just shunned me away. 

You keep pushing me away. Am I not worth it anymore? Sometimes I wish you would just put me out of my misery already. Just leave me and go to her. You know you love her, I don't know why you're wasting your time with me
 
 
Is when you push me away and talk down to me when you're upset. It makes me just want to cry but I know I shouldn't make a scene because you'll just be even more upset with me. I don't know what happened between you and your bestie, or what happened at work, but everytime you're like this, you shut me out. Why won't you talk to me? 

You're always keeping secrets from me. You tell me the half truth. You say mean and hurtful things to me and you don't even realize it . Omg... I'm trying really hard not to sniffle right now. :T.. 

You complained about me not giving more effort, but here I am trying to put in the most effort I can. I washed your blanket and I was willing to drive by and drop it off. It's not a big deal to me. I already promised you that I'd do it. But no, you're just turning the tables on me. Blaming me for something I didn't do. You blame me for the fact that you HAVE to come over. I didn't force you, you chose to do it. I chose to come over to you, but you didn't want that. 


It scares me a lot because you're just acting like my dad...
 
 
What kind of family morals are you trying to impose on your kids? When you're pissed, you can't even talk to your own wife. You act so selfishly and so immaturely. I can't even bare to call you my dad. You get pissed off of the little things, chill the fuck out. 

DINNER time is for family. I made time to go see grandma why can't you? Why can't you put aside all of your own issues to see your own mother? How would you feel like if I didn't visit you because I was mad at whatever? Selfish. You make everyone wait for you. They're starving themselves and letting the food go cold just so your ass could be there. Immature. Mom is begging for you to come. You can't even respond to her. You can't even hold the phone next to you. What is your problem?

You're supposed to be the dad that everyone looks up to. You and mom, I thought you guys were perfect, no fights whatsoever. She knows how to hide it, why can't you? You're the man of the house, so grow some balls and act like it. Start acting more like a father and more like a husband instead of this shit. Such a kid, an immature kid. I thought you knew better. 
 

WOW

02/19/2012

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wtf. I hella got replaced. Ever since I introduced Jlam to the group, she's ALWAYS around now. I know you fucking like her, so stop acting like you dont.  You always talk shit about her, you always give me that annoyed face when you're with her, but you know you love her. I don't care if you like her, just stop talking shit about her then acting like you're all buddy buddy with her. It's fucking annoying. 

Maybe I should accept the fact that you fuckers replaced me. I need to stop caring. I thought we were best friends, but really, we aren't. We're just two people who went to the same hs, talked to the same people, hung out with the same crowd. We're just friends, nothing more, nothing less. 
 

Okay

02/09/2012

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scratch that. A bouquet of chocodipped strawberries and a hot air balloon ride :D Haha. 
 
 
I really hope that babe and I get to do something really special on this day. Maybe go out to dinner, then the movies or something. I hope he asks me to be his valentine! Lol, Cheesy, but I'd never been asked before (and those elementary school vday cards don't count!) I want something romantic on this day! 

Time after time, babe has really made me fall back in love with him. I do still get frustrated and angry at him, but an argument here and there doesn't hurt at all. I definitely do appreciate all the things he has done for me. 

I guess in the end, as long as I can spend time with him, that's all I honestly really need. 
 
 
I feel like my life is going by so quickly and I don't have anytime to just stop and rest. If I'm not at school, I'm with Timmy, or I'm baking, or I'm doing homework. I don't even have time to spend with my family anymore. If I even see my brothers during the week, it's a miracle. 

My money is depleting faster than anything. I'm spending money on ingredients, or food, or gas. I don't even have the luxury of spending on myself anymore because I feel too guilty to even spoil myself. 

I barely see Timmy (surprisingly). I see him a couple hours a day and almost never on the weekends. I know I should be thankful that I still see him, but I miss that I don't get to hang out with him often anymore. It sucks that Timmy doesn't like baking with me, so when I bake, he's usually chillin, playing games, sleeping, or just isn't around. 

I feel more stressed out than ever. I have to accomodate to my friends, to Timmy, to school and to my kittens. I don't even have time to play my piano anymore, heck, I don't even have time to put on my bedsheets because I've been too busy. 

I wake up every morning at 7 and barely make it out the door on time. I don't eat breakfast so I'm always hungry for my first 2 classes. Despite all the meals I eat throughout the day, I am always hungry. 115 to less than 110 and counting. 

I barely have any energy to survive throughout the day. I can't stay up past 12.

I want to make something special for you for vday, but I'm afraid that I wont finish it in time. I have absolutely no time to work on it.  

Ughh. I just want time to stop. I want to take a breather, go out, explore, have fun. (of course, I find baking fun but I want to do something outdoors). I want to spend time with my bbz.

Can I just take my vacation now and go to Australia please?
 
 
Of the girls whose boyfriends do whatever it takes to make the girl not mad at them anymore. 

Sometimes I wonder if we are perfect for each other. Many people may say we are, and most times, I think we are as well.

But you don't like doing the quirky, dorky things that I'd like doing. Most likely, you'd question my sanity

When we get into fights, it's usually me who apologizes first. I'm the one who always caves. I'm the one who always texts you first or says good morning or good night. You don't give me flowers, or even a leaf. You don't wait outside of my doorstep with a cup of coffee knowing that it's something I'l need the next day. 

You don't say all of those cute/corny things to me. and I'm a sucker for those... and cheesy pickup lines. 

You don't do all of those things that made me fall in love with you anymore. I miss it.

or maybe I'm just asking for too much. 
 
 
I want to say that I just felt my house move from all of that wind. 

Today is Lunar New Year! Or TET or Chinese New Years, or whatever you want to call it. I didn't really do anything today.

Well, yesterday, I baked Macarons again. Bob and Erie came over. We ended up going to Joanns after to buy stuff for a photoshoot. Sadly enough, Bob was only able to take photos of the Chocolate Macarons that I made and not of the raspberry ones that I wanted to have (since they didn't turn out as nice as the chocolates). But anyways, I basically baked for 8 hours or so. After bob left (around 8), TK came and drove Erie and I to the mall so we can buy plates from Daiso. We got so many! I'm happy with my new selection :] I just need a tub to store it all in now.

After, I went home and rested for a bit. I decided that I was gonna bake once more since the kitchen would be used up the next day. I invited Timmy, Nikko and TK to come over and bake. They didn't come till 11:30. So I tried a different technique with the macarons and it ended up coming out perfectly! I'm super happy with what happened. I hope that the raspberry filling came out nicely too. I reduced it alot so it should be nice and thick. 

Well, I'm saving those macarons for Tuesday because... JEFF NGUYEN (of Le Bon de Cuisine) invited me to cater with him for GOOGLE's PAYPAL department . WHAAAA...? :] I really want to AWE them so I made 2 diff types of macarons. Technically, I'm only supposed to prepare 30, but I made about double that so they can have a variety of what they want. I don't think I'll charge Jeff since he's been so helpful with everything :]

Anyways, Today.. I did nothing. Well, I did some of my calc hw until I got bored. SMH at me. I should've soldiered through it to catch up but I was lazy. Travis actually hit me up to ask me if he can leave his upright piano at my house. I ended up buying it from him (well, I haven't paid it yet but I will). $250, not bad! Him and Sean came over and delivered the piano to my house. I finally have a piano! Yeeee. 

So I got to practice on that baby for a bit. I'm practicing UP. It sounds mehh for now, but if I keep practicing, I'll definitely get better. After an hour or so for practicing, I just ended up watching a ton of TV shows and w/e. Ate dinner with the family, and now I'm back here. 

I wish babe could sleep over. I'm bored as fkk right now. I know he has school tomorrow, so I guess him staying here wouldn't be a good idea. Anyways. I'm gonna shower. Ttyl
 
 
So Much has happened in the past few months. 

Remember how I was super pissed at Erie and all that jazz? Well, we ended up talking about it, and I still was kind of irritated towards the end because I thought that it was a load of bs. Anyway, After not seeing her and TK for who knows how long, we ended up going on a snowtrip together. To be honest, I was a bit iffy on going because I didn't want to be mad at her or irritated at the small stuff she did. I wanted to enjoy my vacation time. So I went on that snowtrip with an open mind; I decided that I shouldn't care about the small things she did, as long as it didn't pertain to me, then I shouldn't get mad/pissed/upset/etc. Surprisingly, it worked! I could tell sit here and complain about all the things she did or didn't do, but it really didn't bother me at all! Not one bit, and I'm not just saying it to cover up or to try and force myself to accept something, it just didn't bother me. In the end, I had an awesome snow trip with Timmy, Tk, Erie, Bob, and Evora (their puppy). We went to Heavenly to snowboard and we explored all around for 3 days. I wish We could do it again!

Okay, well back on the Erie topic, on the way home from our snow trip, Erie talked to me about a business plan. She was going to make handcrafted charms and I would be baking desserts and whatnot and we would sell it on Etsy.com. Bob even agreed to do a photoshoot on our products. I never thought of selling cookies and pastries online, I don't even know how to ship certain ones because of the freshness of the cookie. But after much research, I realized that you could sell cookies! Whaddayaknow? So I agreed and after the trip, we talked about it more. 

I got really excited for this business plan. We had a weebly, a tumblr, and a twitter all set up. Thomas Vo also made a logo for us. A couple weeks after the trip, I proposed the idea of opening up a food truck. Timmy, TK, Erie, Nikko and I would all run this business. Well, mainly me, then everyone would be working under me I suppose. Everyone really liked the idea and agreed to equal work. It took us a while till we finally got our name out. Erie signed us up to win a grant from Intuit.com. (VOTE for Fancy Flavors!) We're so close to being in the top 10! I never knew how many supporters I would get! It's nice seeing all of my friends cheering me on. 

I really want to do a shoutout to Jeffrey Nguyen, owner of Le Bon de Cusine food truck. He has really helped me out through this entire process. He has definitely answered all of my questions on everything I need to know about running a business. With his help, I definitely feel like we will succeed.  

Well, that's the biggest thing that Is happening in my life right now. The Food Truck Business. I will definitely keep updating